Wednesday, March 14, 2007

ME: Not Eric Saward

Yes, obviously you could get the two of us confused due to my condescending and pompous nature, my love of fanwank, and the fact I have written Attack of the Cybermen without getting credited for it on TV. But yet, we are two completely separate people who have never met. Allow me to prove it:

Eric Saward was with the Doctor Who production team for 5 years. When he left he slagged off everyone else involved in it.

Whereas I, having been a regular member of the Outpost Gallifrey forums for, hmmm, three or four years have recently left. Those of you with knowledge of the forums will know that there is no option to disable an account - I did so by changing my password and entering a string of random unintelligible numbers, hence making it impossible for myself to access the site ever again. Why? It felt right at the time, and still does for that matter. But aside the point, allow me to prove the complete dissimilarity between myself and Saward: I have no ill-will against Outpost Gallifrey.
Yes, it may be populated by squueers and pollsters and people who don't read threads and people who've never heard of punctuation for a bulk part.... it gets on my nerves but the same can be said of any other internet community (More's the pity). And I can bear the somewhat irritating hemispherical division of the community into two groups, one who praise the new series endlessly no matter what absurd shite they decide to put on a plate and ask us to swallow one week (the ringleader of whom is doubtless Jon Blum - don't worry, Jonny-boy, RTD will have to commission you soon!) and the other who voraciously rip apart absolutely every second of celluloid that has RTD's name on it. And I can even put up with the creaking, rattling dinosaurs of the forum who are still in the deluded state that trashing JNT endlessly is 'cool' and that every thread could do with a reference to how much you like Pertwee (Hullo, Mr Levine!)

So why am I leaving? (Or have left, rather...) It's nothing to do with the bad stuff. Just what seems to be absence of the good stuff. There seems to be a tim, in my memory where you'd look through for a while, find 4-5 crap threads, and then a golden one that would have you pissing yourself laughing, thinking profoundly, or debating furiously (and often rewardingly). Recently, it seemed that all I could find was crap threads. Specifically 4-5 crap threads, and then maybe a thread that's already been done to death, then a n00b thread, then 4-5 crap threads.

To be honest I like to think that it is not a matter of the community having recently gone to pot (although there isn't much to suggest otherwise) but simply that I've been on OG for so long that it all seems old and that there's nothing new under the sun. And also the obvious fact that pretty much every friend I've made on the site has been banned or stopped showing up.

But, there is another way in which I am similar to Eric Saward: his work ethic. Yes, this blog has been deader than a Saturday night in the Vatican for a couple of weeks. And I'm sorry, I had stuff to do and whatnottohottotrot, but I'll probably be getting back into it soon, so quit chomping on those bits before you chew through them. Besides, I hasten to add that it could be a lot worse.

In the meantime, to entertain yourself I recommend the mighty YouTube.com, where some kind soul has posted all of the Olden Days and Bargearse.

"One day I shall perfect these platform shoes!", "You dirty pole-puncher!", "Apparently we're going to somewhere called 'The Rab'", "Guards, scuffle awkwardly with that man!". Look them up to see just why these phrases are humourous.

9 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

Now, the James Bond theme tune to Sgt Olden... fricken rocks. I cannot believe that whole chunks were not put on the full-story video (stupid hat day suffered the most) and the final bit where the guys from Rush overdub the Late Show gang, embarrassing them live on TV. Oh, happy days!

"I'm an automatic teller machine!"
"Well, he appears to be out of order!"

"All right, Perkins. Bend over."
"Gulp. ARRRRRRRRRRRGH!"
"Ah! Knew I'd find my riding crop."

"... Sgt Olden, the hero of the series, spends all his time swilling tea..."

Good days.

Me? I hold a lot of bitter resentment against OG. Specifically the bastards that run it. Yeah. YOU.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I have to admit I haven't seen all of the Olden Days yet because

a) Dial-up internet connection at home

b) YouTube is banned at TAFE

and we never got the VHS. (Full-price seemed a bit much for the fifty minutes of entertainment we got from the Bargearse video)

But what I've seen has been bloody hilarious. Frontbottom's South Pacific and Olden's battle for the cappucino machine were incredible pieces of editing.

Me? I hold a lot of bitter resentment against OG. Specifically the bastards that run it. Yeah. YOU.

Well, I have to say that you aren't missing out on much at the moment...

Youth of Australia said...

"I have to admit I haven't seen all of the Olden Days yet because"
I'd get you my copy, but it's MIA.

Can do you Bargearse though. I love that music.

"and we never got the VHS. (Full-price seemed a bit much for the fifty minutes of entertainment we got from the Bargearse video)"
Well, I didn't buy it, I taped it when they televised the special (it's a lot more surreal without the laughter track.)

"But what I've seen has been bloody hilarious. Frontbottom's South Pacific and Olden's battle for the cappucino machine were incredible pieces of editing."
My favorite bit:
OLDEN rolls a cigarette.
"You ever see someone roll a gigantic spliff and smoke it on National televsion?"
GUARD licks lips.
"I wouldn't mind a bit of that my self..."
GUARD stumbles drunk from tent. Jimi Hendrix plays.
"Jesus that was good stuff... whoa, everything's in black and white... whoa..."


"Well, I have to say that you aren't missing out on much at the moment..."
I don't care. I care that OG is missing out on ME! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Just about to burn your CDs, but the main problem is I don't have any cases... And I need six of them...

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I'd get you my copy, but it's MIA.

Can do you Bargearse though. I love that music.


Nah, I'm downloading slowly off YouTube using KeepVid.

Well, I didn't buy it, I taped it when they televised the special (it's a lot more surreal without the laughter track.)

Ah, so they DID broadcast it with a laugh track... yep, that would have spoilt it. The special must have been what the YouTube guy taped, though cause it has no laugh track and the Benny Hill chase music is intact.

I don't care. I care that OG is missing out on ME! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Well, quite. One of the reasons that I left.

Just about to burn your CDs, but the main problem is I don't have any cases... And I need six of them...

Bloody hell! I better burn that DVD I had in mind for you soon to try and recompense your usual insane generosity..

Youth of Australia said...

"Ah, so they DID broadcast it with a laugh track..."
Well, they played it to a live audience so you heard the laughter.

"yep, that would have spoilt it."
I don't think so. I just keep noticing the pauses in it.

"the Benny Hill chase music is intact."
Was intact in both versions, AFAIK.

"Well, quite. One of the reasons that I left."
I weep manfully, dude, I really do.

"Bloody hell! I better burn that DVD I had in mind for you soon to try and recompense your usual insane generosity.."
Christ dude, CDs are like 20c each. Burning it will take half an hour at most. It's just the boxes that's difficult...

I totally forget what DVD you refer to.

I put up another illustration on the verkoff blog.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I totally forget what DVD you refer to.

That'd be because I've never mentioned it before. Haha!

Youth of Australia said...

So what the hell is on it?

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

If I told you that it wouldn't be a surprise!

Nah, well, I was just planning on putting some random stuff from harddrive... the new TV movie of "Hogfather" was going to be the big one.... unless you've already seen it then I don't know what I'll do.

Youth of Australia said...

No, I haven't seen it. Maybe you could put some Torchwood on it. My parent like it... the same way they like the Olden Days.