Thursday, March 29, 2007

Schizophrenic Wildebeest

The following are questions I feel the need to ask, but have no desire to know the answers to. Indulge me.

1. Do the Americans really have a cricket team or is this a ludicrous Wikipedia hoax?

2. What the hell was Emily Barclay doing in Kidnapped! when Suburban Mayhem was publicised as her debut? Well, what the hell was she doing in Kidnapped! full stop? Along with Paul McGann. And why the hell was I watching it?

3. Would Andrew Symonds let me feel his hair if I asked nicely?

4. If Paul Darrow was a tree, what colour would he be?

5. Did anyone else like the musical episode of Scrubs? Also, does even mentioning it on this website make me love for Torrents obvious, or has it been shown by Channel 7 at 1:30 AM recently?

6. Is Criminal Intent anything like Cracker or am I delusional?

7. Will Jesus forgive me for not updating my blog for so long?

8. X-box: yea or yay? Hahaha, I made a pun!

9. Another "did anyone else like" query: the first Mr Bean film. I thought it was really good, but Atkinson himself thinks it's the biggest turd post-Jurrasic epoch. And now he's gone and made a quirky French sequel. Strange, eh?

10. How would we know if aliens were already abducting our drunks and paranoid schizophrenics?

11. Was I right to point-blank refuse to use the words "What in God's Green Earth..." in a drama script my mate wrote? I mean, honestly, I didn't have a corn cob pipe and a Confederate flag!

12. Is racism cool again? (Little Britain got me confused on this one...)

13. How many girls to fantasize about is too much? Bare min for me at any time is 5. Not counting celebs.

14. The fact that Juan Mann (Whose parents clearly hated him) holding a sign saying "Free hugs" as a vehicle for the biggest pick-pocketing/upskirting scheme ever has become one of the most watched YouTube videos EVER is a sign of the decline or our increasingly weak, spineless society. What's that? That isn't a question? Well, mind telling me why there are so many question marks?? More than any other entry I believe you'll find! QED, Ratzinger.

15. How much would it cost to get Syndey cabbies to recommend this website?

Answers are to be written on the back of a postage stamp and stuck to your forehead.

12 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

1. It's true.
2. I watched it for Paul McGann. Sad but true. I tried to pretend RTD was remaking The Highlanders. Guess I'll have to settle for him doing at least one story this year set on a totally different planet, not in any way connected to Earth.
3. Maybe. I mean, you're a bit too butch to refuse without a baseball bat handy.
4. Black leather.
5. No. Don't like it.
6. This is a trick question.
7. No.
8. Good for you.
9. I thought it was decent, crippled by the need for dialogue and the best bits (including the infamously abandoned Mr-Bean-steals-the-painting-in-broad-daylight-and-climbs-out-of-a-sixth-story-window-while-a-crowd-of-tourists-watch-him-escape sequence) need no justification.
10. Schizophrenics with radioactive anal probes.
11. Drama? Sure. Comedy? Keep it. We all remember the tale of the Depression, God's Green Earth starring Benny Hill...
12. No. Never.
13. 109.
14. I don't care.
15. 100 bucks since hardly any passengers would know it existed, and thus take more effort to be convinced.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

The truth always DOES hurt...

Youth of Australia said...

Embrace the pain.

Youth of Australia said...

Oh yeah, part two of Enemy Within is now finished. Another step closer to the nervous breakdown...

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