Sunday, April 1, 2007

RE-ASSESSMENT: "The Invasion" is a brilliant piece of television!

Did the title suck you in? Ha! What? It didn't? Damn. I had a feeling that even as an April Fool's title it was a bit too outlandish. I should have gone for the "Power of the Dalkes found in its entirety in old Cornish women's attic" headline... or maybe "Blog Gets Updated"?

One of the things Australian TV doesn't have enough of is unconvincing and fake facial hair. Tune into the ABC at 7:30 tonight for an attempt to rectify this, with a doco on the construction of Australia's first telegraph line, apparently performed entirely by men with pieces of coloured wool glued to their faces.

Also, massive shout out to the people who've already posted reviews for Smith and Jones the premier DW ep of the new season. It looks to be a real corker, and is THE FIRST TO FEATURE A BLACK COMPANION if you ignore the black companion from the last two seasons. And I believe also Kathiadu Lethbridge-Stewart and Roz Forrester from the Virgin novels. And arguably Frobisher (he was more black than white at any rate...)

Oh, and I just lied. I said it looks like a 'real corker', but the truth is all I know about it is that it has Rhinos in Sontaran suits. True, that fills all my criteria for an awesome episode, but who knows it could be messed up. Maybe there's just one Rhino and the Doctor ends up taking it to a restaurant and the rhino makes a heap of lame accusations about the Doctor being a mass-murdering war criminal even though those claims have no basis and he's known him for all of twenty minutes and then stuff blows up for no reason and the rhino gets sucked into the TARDIS and the story ends. That would suck.

However, S&J will be a glorious revelation for at least one reason: it will stop this crap. Well, not entirely stop it, but cause a bit of a murmered "Yeah I was kinda not right at all" announcement from The Emperor. Provided that there hasn't been the biggest publicity cover-up ever and Martha is in fact a snotty history student who goes out of her way to chug alcohol and assault mankind. In which case I will gladly apologise to the Emperor before ritualistically disembowling myself for dishonouring my family so. Doubltess all answers will be provided as The Den of Inadequacy's foreign correspondent Mr Campion-Clarke, esq. surely will be burning the episode in question onto a DVD whilst apopletically thrashing his computer with a riding crop screaming "Faster! FASTER!!!"

Wonderfully, this will be my first year spoiler-free, due to my self-imposed exile from OG. Haha! No-one will casually mention who the Doctor murders in cold blood this year...

This entry, though, would not be complete without an explanation, and an attached sozzle. You will note my Blakes 7 review has not been fixed. I've been having more than my fair share of internet troubles, and today my brother popped out and updated my personal computer, which promptly destroyed it. My notes were on that... what can I say, as I'm standing next to you? She threw herself under my wheels. It's a dangerous road. A hazardous load.* In the meantime, lets treat the review of Sand as a post-modern minimalistic endeavour that was roaringly successful.

What is there to look forward to in the coming month? Many things. Love, life. A good book. Your own turnip. Love is a canape. Ambition is another kind of fish. Add a dab of lavender to milk. Leave town with an orange and pretend your laughing at it. Seacrest out.

* Dire Straits lyrcis. I dunno why.

4 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

Phew. Worried about you there.

Why does no one remember Sharon Davies? The black teenage girl with a fetish for yellow PVC jump suits, her own hairdressing and, ironically, better knowledge of alien monsters than the Doctor?

And I can assure you S/J isn't like Boomtown at all. Though apparently there's a very embarassing moment involving the Doctor's foot.

And I can't burn new episodes for you. I get them free because they are in a format that cannot be burned. Stops piracy. Yeah, and your Zagreus stuff is on hold. Sorry, but my mum was in a car crash... priorities change...

But I really wanted to see what you had to say about Sand. Dear dear. Oh well. I'll get back to the Enemy Within...

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Why does no one remember Sharon Davies? The black teenage girl with a fetish for yellow PVC jump suits, her own hairdressing and, ironically, better knowledge of alien monsters than the Doctor?

Well, in my case it's because I've never heard of her.

And I can't burn new episodes for you.

Erm, thanks for the unexpected offer which I actually wasn't angling for, but I already have two sources. That are completely legal if you're with Copyright Police.

Yeah, and your Zagreus stuff is on hold. Sorry, but my mum was in a car crash... priorities change...

That's fine with me. I'm in no rush.

But I really wanted to see what you had to say about Sand. Dear dear.

Yeah, I know, it sucks.

I'll get to working on ways to trash Warlord in the next batch...

Youth of Australia said...

She's the first companion in DWM. A black schoolgirl from Blackcastle that the Doctor ages four years so she stops being jailbait. Like Dayna without the homicidal tendencies. Nice girl, and K9 was very taken with her.

I don't suppose you can get a copy for me, couldja?

And I really like Warlord. But I like your scorn-filled reviews better.

Rock on!

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I don't suppose you can get a copy for me, couldja?

I guess so... I don't actually have a copy yet...

I assumed that you had all the new episodes as files. For the record I have all of the Second Season and Torchwood (save the last two eps) on DVDs - I'm open for requests.

(Aside from the detail that my computer won't start right now and I can only use the family pc)