Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Weirdest Question I've Ever Been Asked

Okay, so there I am with my new disc, choca-block with all the lastest (well, not really particularly recent) Doctor Whos from UK-land that I've been unable to watch due to suddenly unreliable fences. The first thing I do, naturelle mo, is pop the disc in the Xbox to see if I can save myself 15 minutes of non-effort wherein I'd need to burn it onto another disc. Lo and behold, it works perfectly, wonderfully hi-res spoilers from the episode after next spraying their way across the screen as soon as the disc touches the back of the boxes throat. Cool and cool.

But then my father intrudes, as it seems, like a Bela Lugosi villain, he's been standing behind me all along.

"Is this the new one?" he rumbles with a lethargic yet hostile manner.

"Yes," I affirm, for indeed it is.

The chiselled face re-forms itself into a mask of confusion. "Why do you watch them before they come out here?"

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the god-damned weirdest question I've ever been asked. But how do I answer?

a) "In my intense disillusionment with the world in general, in terms of sociopolitics, civil freedoms, environmental issues and human rights, I find myself disgusted and revolted by the immeasurable injustice and universal conservative attitudes, feel the burning need to rebel, but being powerless to achieve anything simply comfort myself with enjoying pirated materials. Take that, Thirsty Merc."

b) "Why do the pollies have to send soldiers to the Northern Territory? Sometimes you don't need an answer."

c) "I have seen it already. I'm from the future."

d) "Dude! It's like watching a DVD that isn't out yet!"

e) "Fuck you, old man."

f) "Because I can."

g) "Would you rather I snorted coke out of a hooker's crack like all my mates are doing right now?"

In the end, however, I just said:

"Erm, because there's not much point watching it after it's come out, because you've already seen it"

Although it recieved a frosty/non-existant response, isn't that really what it's all about?

5 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

Brilliant as ever.

I've never had to wonder about that. My parents badger me to get new episodes for them to watch all the time. Now I've used up Torchwood, Sarah Jane and Attack of the Graske, all I've got left is Dimensions in Time...

My answer would be:

"I want to watch it. If I can watch it now, why not watch it now instead of waiting thirteen weeks? I mean, do you have a guarantee I won't get killed by terrorists for the next few months! THIS IS THE ONLY LIFE I HAVE!"

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Yeah, well, I was taken aback because the question doesn't seem to make any sense. I mean, why would I rather wait? Isn't having what you want now the entire basis of a capitalist society?

Eh. Old people...

Youth of Australia said...

Maybe he thought the ep would be the one shown tonight?

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

If so, he is a damned fool.

Youth of Australia said...

DAMN IT! My stupid VCR bit the tape in half! Now my copy of the Runaway Bride won't work! DAMN IT!!!!

On the bright side, I finally worked out the words the Doctor mouths when Donna tells him to stop.