Tuesday, May 27, 2008

You win this round, Hayle!

Okay, a while ago Chris Hale did a really good cover for Ewen's fic The Enemy Within. I was impressed, naturally, but at the same time over-confident of my own abilities. Being extremely drunk at the time on the manliest of Vodka Cruiser substitutes, I can't remember if I actually used the phrase "I could piss that in my secret library while Robert Kennedy is assassinated by women leaving themselves uncovered like meat, because we're just going to change it all once we've been elected". It would certainly explain the fatwah that Hale placed on me, something he communicated to me through a coded message about how much he liked my 'review' of Blakes 7: Animals. (Note: Not an actual review, but rather one really long pedophilia joke)

And now... I stand corrected. I could not do Hale's job for a day. I nearly did a cover. Of fairly low quality. I succesfully made rough images of an evil-looking Doctor with glowing blue-eyes and Cybermen emerging from the Rift (erm, soft of..) and changed the colour of those little bars (Hee hee!). But, as ever, I suck at drawing females. It would be easier if it was Mel I was doing, as imperfections would be permissable, but when dealing with Nicola Bryant.. that just isn't cricket.

And so:



Yes, I drew it OVER Chris Hale's version, to make sure the template stuck. And... it isn't very good. BUT I think the basic idea is good enough, and something could be made of it. If there could just be a Peri draped with Bates' jacket (to continue the MA tradition of depicting the regulars in unusual costumes/general appearance) plonked down, it would be passable.

Of course, then if this got made into a passable cover, you'd have the obvious probelm of feeling obliged to do covers for the whole lot. Probably best avoided...

11 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

Egads, sah, how many in jokes are in that third sentance?! I see at least refs to Mad Larry, the Shiek and Alexander Downer, and surely Animals ITSELF was one really long pedophilia joke?

As for the cover, it is only the horizontal bit hacked out of Peri's scalp that kills any of the mood. The mood of course being kinky and disturbing with glowing blue eyes.

Certainly worthy of inclusion here.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Egads, sah, how many in jokes are in that third sentance?!

I counted a fourth - the Robert Kennedy thing was an attempt to ref Hillary Clinton's latest [quite minor, actually] gaffe.

As for the cover, it is only the horizontal bit hacked out of Peri's scalp that kills any of the mood.

Or, 'the bit where I gave up on drawing over Chris' one'...

Certainly worthy of inclusion here.

... that guy's using photos!

ANYONE can do it with PHOTOS!

(Well, I drew on top of some photos but yeah I was going for the 'drawn' look...)

Youth of Australia said...

Showed your blog to Chris Hale himself (slightly miffed at the mistake in the title) and he laughed himself stupid over your efforts. And the actual words. And the comments. His cunning facade at being awed at your brilliance continues apace...

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Showed your blog to Chris Hale himself (slightly miffed at the mistake in the title)

I correct the spelling mistakes in the body yesterday but... and this will sound weird.. only realised this morning when I was having a shower that I forgot about changing the title.

and he laughed himself stupid over your efforts.

I couldn't expect any more than that..

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Oh, and Humbert of the Ben Chatham scripts has made his own revised version of LM's The Book of the World. Not perfect (he knocked it up over a couple of hours) but I think it's far easier to imagine as an episode.

Here

Youth of Australia said...

I correct the spelling mistakes in the body yesterday but... and this will sound weird.. only realised this morning when I was having a shower that I forgot about changing the title.
Well, I noted that all the other refs were correct. Still, what can I say... I mistakenly assumed his name was "Hoyle" for a while...

I couldn't expect any more than that..
Nevertheless he thought highly of the stuff YOU did on the artwork.

Oh, and Humbert of the Ben Chatham scripts has made his own revised version of LM's The Book of the World. Not perfect (he knocked it up over a couple of hours) but I think it's far easier to imagine as an episode.
I haven't even finished the original, being fixated on finally finishing my Fear Her spoof.

Chris Hale said...

When I die I shall take all my secrets with me!

Although, just a quick question. Did you use the mouse to paint the pic at all?

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Although, just a quick question. Did you use the mouse to paint the pic at all?

I used nothing but the mouse.

I have one of those things that I can't remember the name of, oh hang on - drawing tablet! I have one of those but I think the pens batteries have run down. I've barely used it, in fact, since being given it as a gift..

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I haven't even finished the original, being fixated on finally finishing my Fear Her spoof.

Only just finished reading it, believe it or not - read most of it on the same night I posted but things were going on and reading the 'production notes' near midnight I decided it was time for bed.

As I'm sure I said dozens of times I like Fear Her, and I find it really difficult to believe, even now having read it so many times, that Matthew Graham wrote it. So I guess I liked your insane James Bow theory. (And now I FINALLY understand what that 'Trenchcoat' thing is that you keep going on about..)

Good stuff again, if not quite as wacky as normal. And amazed you didn't do anything with the bit where the Doctor eats the peanut butter with his fingers.

I'd say my favourite was:

Kel: You just took a Martian axe from a Martian van and now you’re digging up a Martian road! I’m reporting you to the council! And it’s a MARTIAN council!!

Youth of Australia said...

Only just finished reading it, believe it or not - read most of it on the same night I posted but things were going on and reading the 'production notes' near midnight I decided it was time for bed.
As they say, no obligation.

As I'm sure I said dozens of times I like Fear Her, and I find it really difficult to believe, even now having read it so many times, that Matthew Graham wrote it.
Well, it wasn't his own idea - that was the colour-vampire one.

So I guess I liked your insane James Bow theory. (And now I FINALLY understand what that 'Trenchcoat' thing is that you keep going on about..)
There I go again, automatically assuming people know what the hell I'm on about... . Should make my Caedroia spoof make a tad more sense if nought else.

Good stuff again, if not quite as wacky as normal. And amazed you didn't do anything with the bit where the Doctor eats the peanut butter with his fingers.
So am I, to be honest. I think it must have been lost in translation, since I finished it in a mad dash. Still, the "taking liberties" vibe lives on in the Doctor using the crime scene as a public toilet.

I'd say my favourite was:
Cool, I didn't think I could beat the original.

Chris Hale said...

I have one of those things that I can't remember the name of, oh hang on - drawing tablet! I have one of those but I think the pens batteries have run down. I've barely used it, in fact, since being given it as a gift..

Yeah, I use the graphics tablet and Photoshop 7.
You should think about using it. I'd love to see what you'd come up with. We want more!