Saturday, November 15, 2008

Conversations in a Library

(Written Friday, November 7th)

The following is a conversation that I have overhead in the past couple of minutes that I felt needed to be preserved in the public domain. It could well be of particular interest to my friend Cameron J Mason, who works as a teacher.


GIRL 1: Awwww, fuck! Fuck. Fucking shit!

GIRL 2: What is it?

GIRL 1: Have you found any of this shit? Fucking Australian serial killers? It's bullshit. You can't find anything.

GIRL 2: Who are you looking for?

GIRL 1: I don't know. Famous Australian ones? I got this site they gave me with fucking famous Australians but it's nothing. Fuck, I am so over this.

GIRL 2: Just... see if you can find a serial killer that you know.

GIRL 1: What?

GIRL 2: Y'know, see if you can find, like, on that site, a serial killer that you know the name of.

GIRL 1: I don't know any fucking serial killers!

GIRL 2: What, none?

GIRL 1: No. Do you?

GIRL 2: (pig-like snort) Yeah. Of course.

GIRL 1: Who?

GIRL 2: You know. Hannibal.

GIRL 1: Oh, right. (pause) Fuck, he's not on here this site is bullshit! Oh, shit, forgot we was in a library, eh?

GIRL 2: No, no, try this... Google.

GIRL 1: Aw, yeah. That one - Wikipedia! That'll have it.

GIRL 2: There, that's easy. So...

GIRL 1: Just copy it.

GIRL 2: This bit?

GIRL 1: The whole fucking thing.

GIRL 2: Right.

GIRL 1: Once we've finished this we can go watch a movie, eh?

GIRL 2: *Big sigh* Save.

Of course if you open up the wikipedia page on Hannibal Lector, the first half of the first sentence reads Hannibal Lecter, M.D. is a fictional character in a series of novels... which kind of gives the game away. Of course, the observant reader would have noted that the girls did not know said fictional cahracter's last name. Which means they opened up THIS page, which would explain the comment by one them, vis a vis "Fuck he's old"

I shall be using this blog entry as reference for when I read information that girls are, by their very nature, more intelligent than those of cursed by testicles.

7 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

Wow. I thought that was a brilliant bit of Smack the Pony style humor (the sort of thing people seem to thing spews out of Chris Lilly like an Exxon oil tanker), but no. Based on reality. How scary.

Maybe we should set them up on a double date with Dr Spoon and Chamber...

...

I can't believe they hadn't heard of the backpacker murder or Port Arthur, though. You think it might have got mentioned in their (presumably history) class.

...

You're sure you didn't write this all on your own?

Cameron Mason said...

It could well be of particular interest to my friend Cameron J Mason, who works as a teacher.

Really?

*reads conversation*

That depressingly sounds like ANY student at any of the schools I've worked at...

Yes people, years of 'divide and conquer' tactics from various levels of government have destroyed the education system.

Cameron

Youth of Australia said...

I have to say I never knew anyone who talked... or thought... like that in school. At least no one prepared to go into the library at any roads. Even though wiki wasn't the catchall it is today, back then no one stupid enough to think ripping off a webpage would KNOW how to do it.

We were muck cleverer and based our entire knowledge of the Patricks Wharfie dispute on the Good News Week yearbook. Clever, eh?

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I can't believe they hadn't heard of the backpacker murder or Port Arthur, though.

Yeah, that was what got me. I mean, Port Arthur isn't exactly obscure, is it?

You're sure you didn't write this all on your own?

Some of it is paraphrased from memory, because my typing speed isn't super-human and I actually had some work to do, but it is all too true.

@ Cam

Really?

You ARE a teacher, aren't you? Hoo-boy, hope I don't end up on MediaWatch for sloppy fact-checking again..


Yes people, years of 'divide and conquer' tactics from various levels of government have destroyed the education system.

Have I ever mentioned that I was unable to get into university? Not because my marks weren't good enough, but because the average marks of my year were too low. Brilliant system, guys. Brilliant.

Youth of Australia said...

I know what you mean. I got better than average HSC marks for all my subjects, but my UAI was 45%! Which in turn let to my soul-destroying Uni year. Thank you very much, Mr. Board of Education...

Cameron Mason said...

You ARE a teacher, aren't you?

For now - trying to get a full time position is frustratingly difficult.

Cameron

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I haven't mentioned it before, but mum's been teaching at TAFE for 20+ years, and only got her full-time position last year. (Though she had a 'temporary permanent' position for 2 years prior to the appointment... yes, we appreciated the oxymoron)