Friday, January 30, 2009

Doctor Who and The Pointless Blogpost

It's come to my attention I've only posted twice this month. Damn.

Anyway, a list is always good for a filler. I've been irritated by the number of fans who insist that the correct title for the Pertwee story The Silurians is "Doctor Who and The Silurians". As an outlet for my incandescent rage I decided to imagine what the show would be like if all it's titles were so equally campy...

Doctor Who and his Magical Granddaughter
Doctor Who in an Exciting Adventure with the Mutants from the Dying Sun!
Doctor Who goes Apeshit Crazy
Doctor Who meets Marco Polo
Doctor Who and The Seven Keys of Domination
Doctor Who and The Blood Sacrifice
Doctor Who and the Attack of the Cabbagemen
Doctor Who and The Napoleon Master Plan

Doctor Who and the Planet of Apparently Larger People
Doctor Who and the Dalek Invasion
Doctor Who Rescues an Underage Damsel
Doctor Who and the Giant Pinball Ants
Doctor Who Gets Knighted
Doctor Who in a Museum!
The Chase for Doctor Who
Doctor Who and The Ultimate Foe

Doctor Who and The Women of Dubious Morality
Doctor Who is not in an Exiting Adventure with the Daleks!
Doctor Who and the Comedy Greeks
Doctor Who in a Lot of Exciting Adventures with the Daleks
Doctor Who and the Massacre of St Bartholomew's Eve
Doctor Who and the Cure for the Common Cold (GENOCIDE)
Doctor Who vs Albert Pennyworth
Doctor Who Slings Guns with the Best Of Them
Doctor Who and Vampires or Something..
Doctor Who is Required!

Doctor Who on a Pirate Ship!
Doctor Who Takes an Acid Trip


Doctor Who is So Over the Daleks
Doctor Who Meets the Scotsmen
Doctor Who and A Man Whom Nothing in the World Can Stop Now
Doctor Who to Ground Control
Doctor Who Has Had it With These Motherfucking Crabs
Doctor Who vs The Faceless Ones
Doctor Who and the Evil of those Daleks

Doctor Who and the Base Under Siege
Doctor Who and the Truly Abominable Snowmen
Doctor Who in a Siege in a Base
Doctor Who in an Exciting Adventure NOT in a Base Under Siege
Doctor Who is Under Siege
Doctor Who Comes Under Siege - This Time it's Personal!
Doctor Who is Getting Too Old for This Shit

Doctor Who and the Horrible Quarks!
Doctor Who and the Children's Author!
Doctor Who and the Avalanche of Padding!
Doctor Who and the Highly Memorable Krotons!
Doctor Who Controls The Weather!
Doctor Who Sees Some Space Pirates (..Briefly) ..!
Doctor Who and The Time Lords!


Doctor Who and the Plastic People
The Silurians Meet Doctor Who
Doctor Who and the Ambassadors from Space of Death
Doctor Who Slips Sideways in Time!

Doctor Who and The Old Jackaknapes
Doctor Who and The Keller Machine!
Doctor Who vs The Claws of Axos
Doctor Who and The Doomsday Machine
Doctor Who and the Daemons

Doctor Who and the Return of the Daleks
The Son of Doctor Who.. is an actor in this story
Doctor Who and The Eocenes of Siluria
Doctor Who and The Curse of Sondergard
Doctor Who meets TOMTIT!

Doctor Who and Doctor Who and Doctor Who
Honey, I've Shrunk Doctor Who!
Doctor Who and The Thing and The Thing and The Thingcleaner*
Doctor Who and The Daleks You Can't See Can Hurt You
Doctor Who and The One With the Singing Computer

Doctor Who and The Mighty Warlord Irongron
Doctor Who and The Invasion of Something Fucking Amazing, You'll See..
Doctor Who Kills Some Daleks Already
Doctor Who and The Miner's Strike
Doctor Who is Slain by his Own Pigheaded Hubris


Doctor Who and Vomit-inducing Military Incompetence
Doctor Who and The Ark in Space
Doctor Who and Sanctioned Torture
Doctor Who and The Genesis of the Daleks
Doctor Who and The Incurable Space Plague!

Doctor Who Meets the Loch Ness Monster!
Doctor Who and The Bandaged Robots
Doctor Who Pretends to be Steed from The Avengers
Doctor Who and Yet Another Planet of Evil
Doctor Who and The Robots of Questionable Motive and Morality

Doctor Who in Mandragora Madness!
Doctor Who and A Jolly Fairwell
Doctor Who and The Assassin Who Kills People
Doctor Who and The Day God Went Mad
Doctor Who and The Robots of Taren-Capel
Doctor Who and The Chinamen of Death

Doctor Who and Lighthouse Fever
Doctor Who Meets King Prawn!
Doctor Who and A Work of Uncontestable Genius (Well, that was Alan Steven's suggestion...)
Doctor Who Vs Grey Corridor Inc.
Doctor Who and The Blue Halo
Doctor Who and The Sontaran Invasion

Doctor Who and The Planet of the Cossacks
Doctor Who and The Planet of the Pirates
Doctor Who and The Planet of Rural England
Doctor Who and The Planet of Medieval England
Doctor Who and The Planet of Swamp
Doctor Who and The Planet of Shadows

Doctor Who and The Robots Who Killed the Daleks!
Doctor Who and A Stitch in Time!
Doctor Who and The Creature in the Pit!
Doctor Who and The Road Rage in Space
Doctor Who and Day of the Bull
Doctor Who and The Professor of Time

Doctor Who On Holiday
Doctor Who Turns Evil!
Doctor Who Goes to E-Space
Doctor Who, The Vampire Slayer
Doctor Who Says 'WTF, mate?'
Doctor Who and The Magic Chair
The Death of Doctor Who


Doctor Who and The City of Escher
Doctor Who and The Doomsday Quartet
Doctor Who in An Exciting Adventure With Nerys Hughes and a Big Snake!
Doctor Who Meets Some Aliens Invading Earth! (Ooh, how novel!)
Doctor Who Dreams of Steam Trains
Doctor Who Shocks The Earth
Doctor Who Steals a Concorde

Doctor Who Does Holland!
Doctor Who Dances With Snakes
Doctor Who Meets His Match
Doctor Who on The Plague Ship
Doctor Who's Wacky Race
Doctor Who and The Heretic King
Doctor Who and Doctor Who and So Ad Infinatum

Doctor Who and The Silurians and the Silurian Eocenes
Doctor Who and The Face of Madness
Doctor Who in Forbidden Territory
Doctor Who and The Return... of the Daleks
Doctor Who and The Planet of Fire
Doctor Who and The Caves of Bowie
Doctor Who and The Ugly Doctor

Doctor Who and The Comet of Halley
Doctor Who Under The Will of the Slug Man
Doctor Who Enters the Rani
Doctor Who and Doctor Who and The Scotsman
Doctor Who Follows His Footsteps
Doctor Who and The DJ of the Damned

Doctor Who Is Under Trial
Doctor Who Goes Bananas!
Doctor Who and The Nuremburg Defense
Doctor Who vs Doctor Who


Doctor Who and The Fatal Exercise
Doctor Who is Ice Hot
Doctor Who and Delta and the Bannermen
Doctor Who vs The Iceblock Man

Doctor Who Becomes Destroyer of Worlds
Doctor Who and The Kandyman Can
Doctor Who and The Time Travelling Lunatic
Doctor Who in a Circus Act

Doctor Who Strides on The Battlefield
Doctor Who Does... Something
Doctot Who in an Exciting Chess Game with Unspeakable Evil
Doctor Who and The Motorbikes of Doom


Doctor Who in an Exciting Lady Named Grace


Doctor Who and the Blonde Shop Assisstant
Doctor Who Visits The End of the World
Doctor Who in an Upbeat Escapade With Charles Dickens
Doctor Who and The Clam-Bake Mystery!
Doctor Who Makes a Pre-emptive Strike
Doctor Who and the Nice Little Dalek Who Could [or Doctor Who Packs Heat]
Doctor Who On The Pull
Doctor Who in an Exciting Adventure with Air Conditioning
Doctor Who and The Boy With No Soul
Doctor Who and The Sexual Metaphor
Doctor Who in an Arse-numbing Meal with Margaret Blaine
Doctor Who on Channel 4
Doctor Who Ex Machina

Doctor Who and The Pudsey of Doom
It's Christmas Time for Doctor Who!
Doctor Who and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
Doctor Who Swaps Bodies With a Whore!
Doctor Who in a Childish Adventure with Queen Victoria
Doctor Who and The Return of K9!
Doctor Who and The Sexual Metaphor II: This Time, It's Heterosexual
Doctor Who and The Wrath of Graeme Harper
Doctor Who Blows up Some Alleged Cybermen
Doctor Who on Television [working title 'Doctor Who Commits Underage Assault' ]
Doctor Who on an Impossible Planet
Doctor Who Meets Scratchman!
Where's Doctor Who?
Doctor Who in a Fantastical Adventure with a Little Girl!
Doctor Who on Ghostwatch
The Death of the Companion of Doctor Who

Doctor Who Destroys Londontown
Doctor Who on The Bloody Moon!
Doctor Who and The Brainwashed Bard
Doctor Who and The Bowel-Shattering Secret
Doctor Who Bumps into Some Daleks
Doctor Who and The Dawn of the Pig Man
Doctor Who and The Dawn of the Scorpion Man
Doctor Who and The Dawn of the Sun Man
Doctor Who Fights Pirates
Doctor Who Goes to University!
Doctor Who Fights Scarecrows!
Doctor Who Does Not Blink
Doctor Who and The Mysterious Fobwatch
Doctor Who vs The Saxon Party
Doctor Who Is Over the Hill

Doctor Who in "You Cruise, You Lose!"
Doctor Who and The Return of The Tait
Doctor Who Carries On Up Pompeii
Doctor Who and The Cousins of the Sensorites
Doctor Who and Deadliest Weapon (Cars)
Doctor Who and The Insanity of Sontar
Doctor Who and The Daughter of Doctor Who
Doctor Who Spends a Mysterious Night with Agatha Christie
Doctor Who in a Confusing Adventure with a Saarth-Effriken Bint
Doctor Who Keeps Getting `Shipped!
Doctor Who is Tourist Trapped!
Doctor Who and The Back-Eating Beetle
Doctor Who and The Event Bigness
Doctor Who is Hard to Kill

Doctor Who and Not-Doctor Who


Man.. that's draining..

6 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

I laughed my head off at these. True brilliance. Some I may have to steal.

Doctor Who and The Seven Keys of Domination
The gag being there are only six

Doctor Who vs The Faceless Ones
I thought "Doctor Who Pretends To Be A Suicide Bomber At Gatwick Airport" a better choice myself.

Other ones I found amazing

Doctor Who vs Albert Pennyworth
Doctor Who and Vampires or Something..
Doctor Who Has Had it With These Motherfucking Crabs
Doctor Who is Getting Too Old for This Shit
The Son of Doctor Who.. is an actor in this story
Doctor Who and The Invasion of Something Fucking Amazing, You'll See..
Doctor Who and The Road Rage in Space
Doctor Who and Day of the Bull
Doctor Who Says 'WTF, mate?'
Doctor Who and The City of Escher
Doctor Who and The Doomsday Quartet
Doctor Who in An Exciting Adventure With Nerys Hughes and a Big Snake!
Doctor Who Meets Some Aliens Invading Earth! (Ooh, how novel!)
Doctor Who Dreams of Steam Trains
Doctor Who Meets His Match
Doctor Who and Doctor Who and So Ad Infinatum
Doctor Who and The Caves of Bowie
Doctor Who Enters the Rani
Doctor Who Follows His Footsteps
Doctor Who and The DJ of the Damned
Doctor Who and The Nuremburg Defense
Doctor Who Does... Something
Doctor Who Packs Heat
Doctor Who in an Exciting Adventure with Air Conditioning
Doctor Who and The Sexual Metaphor
Doctor Who in an Arse-numbing Meal with Margaret Blaine
Doctor Who Swaps Bodies With a Whore!
Doctor Who in a Childish Adventure with Queen Victoria
Doctor Who Blows up Some Alleged Cybermen
Doctor Who on Television [working title 'Doctor Who Commits Underage Assault' ]
Where's Doctor Who?
Doctor Who and The Bowel-Shattering Secret
Doctor Who Does Not Blink
Doctor Who and The Insanity of Sontar
Doctor Who in a Confusing Adventure with a Saarth-Effriken Bint
Doctor Who Keeps Getting `Shipped!



Though I noticed you missed out

The Romans
The Brain of Morbius

And I assume you'll fill in the "Doctor Who and"s later?

Cameron Mason said...

Doctor Who and his Magical Granddaughter

I've always referred to it as Doctor Who Quits Smoking myself...

Cameron Mason said...

You missed Father's Day.

Doctor Who Gets Eaten Out?

Doctor Who Crosses His Own Timeline Thanks To His Blonde Bint Of An Assistant?

Doctor Who Gets Setimental?

Cameron

Youth of Australia said...

Doctor Who & The Forgone Conclusion?

And he left out all the PMG stories!

Doctor Who Is A Dead Man
Doctor Who & The Blimp of Doom
Doctor Who In A Base Under Siege
Doctor Who Insults Venitian Aristocracy
Doctor Who Goes Mad In Sunnydale

Doctor Who & The Stupid Americans
Doctor Who Visits The House of Suicide
Doctor Who Gets Drunk With Vogons
Doctor Who and the Night of the Bull
Doctor Who and Eye-Eating Goblins of Fear Who Are Really Rather Nice When You Get To Know Them
Doctor Who & The Daleks Are Pretentious
Doctor Who & The Cot Death Allegory

Doctor Who in Wonderland With A Wasted Supporting Cast
Doctor Who and Charley Murder Their Children
Doctor Who & The Writer Stuck in 1985
Doctor Who Has Eight Arms. Or DOES he?
Doctor Who and The War on Terror

Doctor Who Agrees With Richard Dawkins
Doctor Who Survives The Day After
Doctor Who Likes Wales So Much He Visits it Thrice
Doctor Who Doesn't Give A Shit Anymore And Just Wants to Go Home

Doctor Who and the Retcon of Davros
Doctor Who Discovers Lobotomized Chimps
Doctor Who Gets A Beard, Well, A Wife
Doctor Who And Clockwork Droids
Doctor Who Forgets His... Uh...
Doctor Who and the ADHD Aliens

Doctor Who Doesn't Give A Pair of Fetid Dingo Kidneys What Happens to C'Rizz
Doctor Who and the 1001 Departures of Charley Pollard
Doctor Who and the Bimbo of Miller
Doctor Who In A Base Under Siege with the Pop Culture References
Doctor Who Yells At Gods and Clods
Doctor Who Discovers The Old Guy Running The Local Amusement Arcade Is Actually Behind Strange Monster Sightings
Doctor Who Has A Really Interesting Adventure We Only Get To See The Last Two Minutes Of
Doctor Who And The Story Arc That Never Was

Doctor Who Makes History Boring
Doctor Who On Top Gear WITHOUT THE STIG
Doctor Who and the Dumbest Seaside Resort Ever
Doctor Who and the Bald Crocodile Cargo Cult... of DEATH
Doctor Who and the Wasted Guest Stars
Doctor Who & The Offense To Intelligent Listeners Everywhere

Doctor Who & The Reset Button
Doctor Who Meets The Plants of Peril. Again.
Doctor Who meets Giant Wasps. Again.
Doctor Who Visits WW2 For A Change
Doctor Who and the Cannibal Holocaust
Doctor Who meets Giant Spiders. Again.
Doctor Who Lets Lucie Miller Take Over The Christmas Episode Because He Honestly Just Cannot Be Arsed Any More

Cameron Mason said...

And of course Planet of the Dead just has to be one of the following:

Doctor Who Takes A Tour
Doctor Who Goes On The Buses
Doctor Who in an Exciting Adventure With A Crane Operator

Cameron

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I knew I had to have missed a couple. And I also knew that the E-man would say

And he left out all the PMG stories!

Yes I did.

Yours are better than mine could be. My favourite would be

Doctor Who and Eye-Eating Goblins of Fear Who Are Really Rather Nice When You Get To Know Them

Also, I have to agree with Doctor Who & The Offense To Intelligent Listeners Everywhere having listened to the story..