Sunday, January 4, 2009

My campaign for the Twelfth Doctor spot begins here!

Well, although I've entertained the fantasy of being a Doctor before, now I know it's actually possible, with the casting of ANOTHER complete unknown in the part. Well, not complete unknown over in the land of Britain where they assume that the rest of the world watch exactly the same telly as them and are hence shocked to the core when we aren't entirely sure who Jordan is. But elsewhere, yes this is the case.

Looking at his wiki page, blow me down, he's only had decent TV roles since 2 years ago. So, this time next year I'll be special guest rapist on The Bill and from there to prostitute myself at the nearest outlet of the gay mafia in Cardiff. From there it's a surefire string of parts in Big Finish, the voice-over in Confidential for an interim episode between Anthony Stewart-Head and Stephen Fry, and new semi-regular in Spooks.

NUZZINK IN ZE VORLD CAN STOP ME NOW!!!

Oh, wait, I don't live in Britain and I don't have a job. Dang. Back to writing I go. Anyone on the right side of the Channel can have a go. Colin Hicks for 12! Alan Stevens! No, Alan Fridge! Lawrence Miles! The Doctor can be Father Christmas' evil brother for a change. Miles Reid! His acting in those obscene photos he posted of himself on OG was brillaint. Mark Goacher! Please audition, and be sure to film it and post it on YouTube, the results will be brilliant, I assure you. Adam Rickitt!

... well, there are SOME exceptions, clearly.

How about getting the blokes who played The Twins in The Matrix? Good fix for the trouble of the demanding part, different twin to play the Doctor each week! Or Sir David Jason, let his viral infection of all Christmas television continue. David Warner! Or at least David Warner's corpse on marrionette wires voiced by Michael Gambom if circumstances demand it. Bill Nighy! How many times do we need to ask? Adrian McArdle! I still say it's time for a short Doctor!

I haven't actually said much about my choices for the 11th Doctor which has since gone to Graeme Smith, captain of the South African cricket team for some reason, but for the record I might just post my top ten...

1. Aidan McArdle
2. Martin Freeman
3. Lee Ingleby
4. James Purefoy
5. Jonathan Aris
6. Robert Lindsay
7. Bill Nighy
8. Sam Troughton
9. Paul McGann (Hang on.. he's been the Doctor, hasn't he?)
10. James D'Arcy (HA! You have no idea who it is!)


The important thing is, that it isn't Mark Gatiss or Nick Briggs.

3 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

ROFL. Total brilliance! And when up against Mad Larry's "Matt Jones is the Doctor!" post, that is true praise. The Graeme Smith gag is brilliant! You are in my eyes more a Doctor than Lenny Henry!

All I have to offer in return bar my uploaded Love and Monsters parody, are interviews sourced/stolen/nicked/ignored from Doctor Who Confidential...

David Tennant Speaks!
"To leave, or not to leave: that is the question: whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fandom or to stay longer than Tom Baker himself and, by typcasting, end my career? That is the question. Well, more A question, really. Not THE question, because, well, I mean, there are billions and BILLIONS of questions out there and when I say billion, I mean when you add in the answers, not just the questions... Jings. Well, you’re looking at numbers that are positively jinging astronomical! Now, I love Doctor Who and this series so much, I really do, but if I don’t take a deep breath and move on, I never will and Philip Glennister will hunt me down and kill me like a dog. So I am a wee bit jealous about the chap who’s coming next with all the extraordinary groupies to look forward to, how everything is about to unfold, the way his life is going to change... but remember, Matty, I got here FIRST! I got to do the nasty with Billie Piper before Sally Lockheart! You’re in MY shadow now! Coz, basically, I’m the Stuff of the Legend where as YOU are the Stuff of Party Animal cast-offs!"

Matt Smith Speaks!
"How do I feel? What do you think? You think I’m flabbergasted? Well, you might be right. Then again, you might not. Taking on the responsibility of the Doctor might be exciting. Or maybe nerve-wracking. Or maybe neither. Yet perhaps both. I may not have slept for three weeks. Or I could be lying. The Doctor has a huge legacy and brings with it expectations, but I must be brave enough to make my own choices. Or must I? Doctor Who is an iconic part of our culture since 1963 – my dad hated it, my granddad hated it, just as they hated Robin Hood and Sherlock Holmes. So they don’t like much of BBC Wales’ output of late as you can imagine. Or do they? I think I’ll stay a bit non-committal until we actually start work on the series. Or will I?"

Russell T Davies Speaks!
"I was happily leaving Doctor Who when Steve stabbed me in the back by casting Matt Smith as the next Doctor. What a childish kick in the gut. When I heard, my first reaction was '...who?' followed by jealousy because I’ve fancied him rotten for a couple of years now. I think he could be turned. But he and Steve get to work together on a new Doctor and make him brilliant while I’m left in the snow with nothing but my gay porn franchise empire to fall back on. Tragic. Goodbye Faithful Viewers. It hasn’t been pleasant."

Steven Moffat Speaks!
"On the first day, we chose Matt because he was the third person through the door. If we’d chosen the first person to audition it would have been too risky. The second? Too cliched. But the third? Brilliant. Plus it saves a HELL of a lot of time actually choosing a guy because he’s actually any good. He’s actually younger than anyone to play the Doctor before. The only people younger in Doctor Who are Blue Peter winners, or that time when Rose was a baby, I think... but I can make it work though. I can do ANYTHING. And I’ve got the awards to prove it! MWAHAHAHA!"

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

And when up against Mad Larry's "Matt Jones is the Doctor!" post,

Ah, you saw it before he rapidly changed it then, eh?

You are in my eyes more a Doctor than Lenny Henry!

Could be seen as a slightly backhanded compliment but I accept it gratefully, my good man.

Hehe, I like the Matty quote.

What amazes me is THIS MADE THE ABC NEWS! Wtf??? Is the show that popular? Or, as my mum suggests, was it just a slow news day? I guess nobody really does want to hear about another Gaza invasion...

Youth of Australia said...

Ah, you saw it before he rapidly changed it then, eh?
Well, you have to be quick with the Beasthouse before it vanishes. Curious fact - when ML was discussing possible Doctors in the gambling post, he actually says "Bugger it, cast Matt Smith!" rather that Chiotel Ejiofor.

Could be seen as a slightly backhanded compliment but I accept it gratefully, my good man.
I like Lenny Henry's Doctor... he's got a leather jacket, fancies his assistant, doesn't save the day. He's like the Ninth Doctor only endearing.

Hehe, I like the Matty quote.
Cool. Not quite sure how to handle his character, so at the moment he's borrowed a personality off Dave Restal.

What amazes me is THIS MADE THE ABC NEWS! Wtf??? Is the show that popular? Or, as my mum suggests, was it just a slow news day? I guess nobody really does want to hear about another Gaza invasion...
Well, I think it was a combination of things.

1) Slow news day
2) Like you say, some nice news was welcome
3) ABC loyalty to Doctor Who, plus a mass of stock footage they admit was nicked off Confidential
4) Promotes Party Animals

It was a fluke it got anything bar a mention on the radio. I honestly did not expect to see Doctor Who on the news unless (no jinxing) one of the Doctors died...