Friday, November 6, 2009

Thoughts from 11:27 PM.. and onwards..

A NineMSN headline tells me that Lady Gaga is givng her hair away. Why should this amaze me when she does the same to her own genitals?

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The Australian cricket team really does seem to be managed by Crazy John. Shipping errors would be the easiest way to explain the ludicrous amount of players to debut this year. How ludicrous? Well, these are just the ones I've got on the top of my head...

Dave Warner
Shaun Marsh
Moises Henriques
Dirk Nannes
Bryce McGain
Phil Hughes
Andrew MacDonald
Doug Bollinger
Ben Hilfenhaus
Clint McKay
Marcus North
Graham Manou
Tim Paine
Luke Ronchi
Callum Ferguson

Obviously my target audience is capable of counting but, hey, that's fifteen dudes! Considering it's eleven men to a side, I find that stat pretty damned incredible. The obvious question to take away from all of this is... fuck, I've lost that train of thought.

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I really am not on drugs. Though I feel the need to keep telling people I'm really tired as explanation for my continuing craziness. Just thought I'd set it done on the disposable stone that is the internet, as it would actually explain some shit, like the novel I've started writing (in the loose term of the phrase) that's extended from a short story I attempted ages ago about a guy being the first inter-universal astronaut. It's the kind of thing I'd expect Mad Larry to write. I couldn't be possessed, could I?

Basically, the main character's the ultimate soldier and gets promoted to a position where he ends up killing thousands of his own men through gross incompetence - they discover the disturbing reason why this happened, and why he was so good a soldier in the first place is because he was freakishly born without an imagination, and following on from that struggled with any degree of abstract thought. The problem is, when he goes slowly crazy and begins hallucinating, he is unable to conceive of the idea that things he cannot see could actually not be there or not what they appear to be.

And.. the story goes on from there and he becomes the first inter-universal astronaut. Which becomes increasingly irrelevant due to a terrible war. Trust me, in my head the plot is awesome. Well, I say awesome, I mean quite good. To me. Not for everybody. Maybe I should blame it on Catch-22 and 1984, my most recent reading material?

I woke up at 11 last night and started writing this because I had a scene appear in my head out of nowhere - I consider this a good sign. As TAFE winds down I seem to have caught the writing bug all of a sudden. Maybe I can actually finish some stories? We can only hope..


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Also, it seems like something I would have mentioned by now, but there almost certainly won't be much more to this blog this year. Not that I'll get rid of it or anything, but for whatever reason I like the post counts to be round and evenly divisible - and once I press 'submit' on this particular one there will be 4 more until there's 50 posts. I know, way to set my sights low. We can't all be as prolific as Ewen. If you set out to read one post of his blog per day, it would take you A YEAR to get through it.

That said, if you read that slowly I wouldn't want you navigating when I was driving. You'd need an appalling average words-per-minute ratio to average around that mark.

Ahem. What is in store for this blog? Well, if there's 4 posts, DW has it already covered! There's the rest of my Torchwood review, the inevitable "DEAR GOD THIS IS SHIT!!!" hellscream that Waters of Mars will provoke (actually, I'll probably like it. Sometimes I think I can it be predictable) and then my immediate reaction to the David Tennant Fuck Off Special buried in a pile of gay jokes and allusions to Roman orators. The remainder wild card entry could just be a heap of book reviews.

Incidentally, even though I keep myself spoiler-free for Doctor Who - via amazing technique of just not caring until somebody gives me the episodes which nobody else seems to have thought of - there are some things it is hard not to know by now, as everyone assumes that you know them. I'm not sure why people are persistently surprised by this, either - are the Thetans meant to be streaming podcasts full of Matt Smith interviews to the metal plate in my head, for fuck's sake?

Anyway, I know..

The Master's coming back.
Rose is coming back.
Matt Smith looks and sounds like a tit.
The Doctor's new companion is seemingly a stripper acting as a policewoman / vice versa
Donna is probably coming back
Prahfessa Reeever SOHNGArkayyohllojist! is [motherfucking] coming back
The Daleks are coming back.

I'm not sure if I've heard anything specific about that last one but it's one of those inevitabilites that bores me to tears just to think of. Okay, most of you like the Daleks. Spare a thought for the poor fuckers like me who can't stand them. Around a sixth of the first four series have featured the tedious aliens who can't be killed. I ranted to Ashley, a fellow TAFEr of mine about this on a train yesterday, in that now the stories contain no drama but how exactly the Doctor can build a magic Dalek hooever of ambiguous construction in the space of 45 minutes, and occassional issues like where to find the pixie dust to power it or corrupted phelbotium which causes the device to backfire, or something else completely obtuse.

I really feel I should apologise, once again, to mauling Helen Raynor in an earlier review - Daleks in Manhatten, when I look back on it, is the best of a rotten bunch. No offense to Rob Shearman, the long-haired loon.

Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah..

Is it just me or does the future of DW sound a little shite? Really? I've been trying to ignore this disaparate elements but what a fanwank avalanche it's developing into. I'm probably just a grouch but the amount of pointless fucking navel gazing done by the new series is what irritates me. To think people mocked the classical stories' throwback moments...

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Also we're winning the cricket!

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For an enjoyable evening viewing I highly recommend the Granada Jeremy Brett adaptation Sherlock Holmes and The Six Napoleons. A fruit and ham value meal is the best way to describe it. Such a cast of over-actors has never been assembled.

By this point Brett and Edward Hardwicke as Watson had been playing their parts for a while and had developed their own special degree of campness. Colin Jeavons as Inspector Lestrade seemed keen to catch up with them in these stakes, drawing out the 'o' in his weedly "MISter Hoooolmes" more every time he says the line. The first scene featuring the trio is a textbook example of how to make three fully clothed men sitting around a fire and not looking at one another feel gay as a result of this.

The supporting cast upstage them, though. Eric Sykes is inexplicably the guest of the week as a moaning newspaper actor with oddly theatrical lines and an odd habit of staring in quizzical silence, as if trying to remember what he's meant to say. A John Innman look-a-like appears at the end to show off his excellent bust (ooh-err) of Napoleon to the other gentlemen, a pint-sized antique seller with a ridiculous false moustache cries out that 'Red anarchists!' are out to smash his statues, a bulldog looking man gets to announce "I'm damned glad you caught the scoundrel!", one moustachioed Italian gets a bizarre scene of two minutes of frenzied yelling in his mother tongue while engaging in what appears to be a Cosmo Kramer exercise routine in the streets of London, and his other fellow countryman (looking like the drummer from the Monkees) giggles wildly like a monkey whenever he is arrested (well.. it only happens twice)

Delightfully, the sheer outrageous overracting of the rest of the cast seems to rub off on the usually reliable Vernon Dobtcheff, playing a German master sculptor, whose wandering accents leave you with an impression of a blend between Santa Clause, the thespians from Blackadder III and Yakov Smirnoff, which was presumably not the intention.

This one of the stories that Mrs Hudson gets to sit out. She would have just spoilt the gay old time that was on the cards, no doubt. Fantastic stuff.

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Good lord, Vernon Dobtcheff is still acting. 75 years old. And according to IMDB he was born in France. Well I'll be...

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I also saw The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus and thought it was a motherfucking master piece. Other people think it's shit, which I find understandable. I could go on about it for ages if I wasn't so close to collapsing on this keyboard that I'm contemplating filing myself as clinically dead, but that is the case so I will not. All I have to offer is my analysis of what actually happens in the film (especially in the end) that I posted on IMDb. There it got no reaction at all after a week. So I put it here, so if nothing else I have a record of it.

Please note: the following is nothing but spoilers


There's quite a bit of talk about this film just being a chaotic mess with no rhyme or reason, but I think it makes quite a bit of sense in the end, though there are certainly loose ends.

I think in the end, the Devil is after a greater power from Parnassus, which has secretly been his agenda throughout the entire film, by presenting him with two choices: to tell him what the symbols on Tony's forehead mean or killing Tony. It's very significant that the choice is offered here - just as the choices are presented to everyone, when their souls are at stake. One is much easier than the other (the low road and the high road) - as others have noted the symbols appear on some of Paranassus' cards, so he probably could have told the devil and then he would have the power of the storytellers.

Paranassus doesn't do this, as he sees through the plot by seeing what should happen in the cards once again and so knows that Tony dying is the right thing. As he does throughout the entire film, he can only present Tony with a choice, as the Imaginarium is driven by his own mind and those of others, rather than that of Parnassus. Because Tony is so cowardly Paranassus has to use trickery to make him choose the right option - Tony needs to actually confront the consequences of his own actions rather than just running away from them again. He does this, unwittingly, by choosing the dummy flute.

I think this is also why the Devil reneges on his deals for the first time in the wake of this, realising that Paranassus will protect his secrets and always take the high rather than low road to escape from him.

Tony's choice could also be seen as him becoming the fifth soul that Parnassus needed to win all along (It's said Valentina doesn't count, albeit by Tony) and so the Devil cannot keep Valentina's soul, and of course earlier in the film we see that he doesn't want her anyway (he's disappointed when she walks through the mirror) That said, she is merely her own woman - the bargain was only that he wouldn't take her, not that Paranassus could keep her, which is why they are separated in the end.

I've only seen it the once, though, so there could be stuff in there to contradict it all.

8 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

Wow. I'll miss this blog.

...

What I've seen of WOM looks pretty cool though. Not a hint this was by the same degenerate responsible for "Something Borrowed".

And if it's any consolation, the Daleks are only in one episode. That's less than 45 minutes. Out of the whole year. Probably the best average since 2006. Mind you, I thought that year sucked... hopefully there's no casual connection.

This is the only good news I can honestly provide. I mean, everyone involved SAYS Matt Smith is great, but... they WOULD, wouldn't they? Even Saward championed Baker in the role... well, he changed the subject rapidly and started talking about what a dickhead Michael Grade was, anyway.

Trouble is, I've only seen-properly-watched about twenty seconds of MS as the Doctor and not only can I barely hear his voice, he's in the middle of "my regenerated brain is trying to escape by unattractive skull" type scenes. Which, I think we agree, would not be fair to judge him on.

In the meantime, go here.

It made me laugh.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I didn't say the blog was going anywhere did I?

... [goes to check] ..

No, thought I could have buggered it up due to my barely conscious state but I just said not much more for this year.

..though I guess 4 posts over the course of 54 days is REALLY setting the bar low. Maybe I'll aim for 14? Or just stop being OCD and post whenever I feel like it? Hmm..

What I've seen of WOM looks pretty cool though. Not a hint this was by the same degenerate responsible for "Something Borrowed".

Really? God, now you HAVE got me nervous..

That said, didn't you say he was a decent writer on SJA?

And if it's any consolation, the Daleks are only in one episode.

Ah, that is good to hear. I'd rather we'd do something radical and have a NO Dalek year, something the show only did fourteen times prior to the renewal if my mental arithmetic is accurate.

...I guess this counts as no Dalek year but.. really, that's kind of cheating, isn't it?

In the meantime, go here.

It made me laugh.


Love it. And that's just based on your description of his dialogue.

Youth of Australia said...

I didn't say the blog was going anywhere did I?
... [goes to check] ..
No, thought I could have buggered it up due to my barely conscious state but I just said not much more for this year.

Oh. Right. I thought it was a kind of "50 posts is enough! The blog shall close!" deal.

..though I guess 4 posts over the course of 54 days is REALLY setting the bar low. Maybe I'll aim for 14? Or just stop being OCD and post whenever I feel like it? Hmm..
Well... it's what I do.

Really? God, now you HAVE got me nervous..
I've seen three whole scenes - the Doctor sweettalking his way into the base, the first time someone turns into a zombie, and the first zombie chasing the Doctor bit.

(I hope that doesn't spoil too much.)

And, so far, it's great.

That said, didn't you say he was a decent writer on SJA?
He was. Still no complaints there. Indeed, he's done a rather cool ghost story I'm watching (though the coolness might be the fact there's a swashbuckler who looks like Richard Armitage haunting a castle...)

Ah, that is good to hear. I'd rather we'd do something radical and have a NO Dalek year, something the show only did fourteen times prior to the renewal if my mental arithmetic is accurate.
Oh, well, as far as I can tell, it's ripping off Power of the Daleks with "Daleks being nice" to fool people.

TBH, I think the only reason they're there is down to the old "new Doctor must meet the Daleks asap" tradition combined with the Terry Nation deal they MUST appear once a year.

Certainly Moffat says he has "something different" for the season finale. And my money is on Zygons.

...I guess this counts as no Dalek year but.. really, that's kind of cheating, isn't it?
Well, considering the comics and books have had the Tenth Doctor meet them, and BF going apeshit there are more Dalek stories this year than any previous one...

Love it. And that's just based on your description of his dialogue.
As an artist, I was really impressed at how they got across Amy's "I'm so over this" expression so simply.

BTW, is there some spambot pestering your blog under the name of Anonymous? Cause I'm getting about a dozen posts offering viagra or strangely-translated bollocks about private messaging...

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Let me start this comment off with a big WTF at the YouTube link to that Matt Smith thing I found. Was that the clip - faint audio that sounds like it's being recorded in the middle of a school gym with giant letters transcribing the dialogue (very badly)? It sounds like it could be anything (and putting massive text stuff about how gay Smith is in the video wasn't helping things) - offcuts from the DWADs, even.

The delivery of "You are the Daleks" though does deserve it's new spot in fan lore, though. Or should I say You ARE the DAAAAAR. Lex!

Oh. Right. I thought it was a kind of "50 posts is enough! The blog shall close!" deal.

No, no. I just update irregularly and want the number at the end of the year to be evenly divisible by ten or twenty-five..

Yes, it's weird.


Well... it's what I do.

And LARRY MILES! And look what happened to him!

Oh, well, as far as I can tell, it's ripping off Power of the Daleks with "Daleks being nice" to fool people.

A decent gimmick. That should make it good. I actually got that vibe straight away when I saw reference to the Daleks offering the Doctor some tea - there were comments like "WTF? Why would the Daleks do that this is gay??" and my immediate thoughts were of Power.

combined with the Terry Nation deal they MUST appear once a year.

Saywhat? Aww, gawd, had no idea. Explains a bit.

So the Nation Estate have a deal that they appear once a year. And approved a storyline that explicitly said that they had been wiped out. Way to condone poor storytelling.

Certainly Moffat says he has "something different" for the season finale. And my money is on Zygons.

Same here. At the very least they're going to appear in the seasons - he makes no secret of his love for the Zygons... or am I confusing him with Tennant?

I think Moffat will be bringing back some of the more obscure monsters if he does bring some back.

I don't know if I mentioned it, but I am mildly annoyed at the flying Daleks - they completely stole the thunder of my idea of re-inventing the Quarks as robots with a sort of gestaltic power-sharing ability which they could use to magnetize and then polarise themselves from one another, giving them a limited ability to fly at great speeds (because of their small weight) and strafe the ground with chain-gun style lasers. I thought it would be a cool gimmick to justify their title as deadly robots and make them more memorable. But now Daleks can fly like birds so it isn't really impressive...

BTW, is there some spambot pestering your blog under the name of Anonymous? Cause I'm getting about a dozen posts offering viagra or strangely-translated bollocks about private messaging...

..not that I'm aware of. Are the messages anywhere in particular?

Youth of Australia said...

Let me start this comment off with a big WTF at the YouTube link to that Matt Smith thing I found. Was that the clip - faint audio that sounds like it's being recorded in the middle of a school gym with giant letters transcribing the dialogue (very badly)? It sounds like it could be anything (and putting massive text stuff about how gay Smith is in the video wasn't helping things) - offcuts from the DWADs, even.

The delivery of "You are the Daleks" though does deserve it's new spot in fan lore, though. Or should I say You ARE the DAAAAAR. Lex!

It IS up there with "My dre-hee-heems of KARNKERWESTTT!!!"...

No, no. I just update irregularly and want the number at the end of the year to be evenly divisible by ten or twenty-five..
That's... wierd.

Yes, it's weird.
As long as you're aware of this.

And LARRY MILES! And look what happened to him!
He hasn't posted for months about anything. He could be dead.

A decent gimmick. That should make it good. I actually got that vibe straight away when I saw reference to the Daleks offering the Doctor some tea - there were comments like "WTF? Why would the Daleks do that this is gay??" and my immediate thoughts were of Power.
As far as I can tell, the Daleks are trying to trick people into thinking they're built by the English. Hence the... tea scenes. Unless, I dunno, Briggsy got mixed up which character he was playing. If the Dalek Supreme is referred to as "Mr. Crouch", we'll have an answer...

Saywhat? Aww, gawd, had no idea. Explains a bit.
Oh yeah. You not know that?

It was part of the reason they were in Doomsday (not complete justification, I grant you, but it's easier to use them there than, say, School Reunion) and why they had a mid-season Raynor script. Aparently there was a big argument when RTD said, "Look, I don't want the Daleks in the finale this year, I've got the Master instead..."

So the Nation Estate have a deal that they appear once a year. And approved a storyline that explicitly said that they had been wiped out. Way to condone poor storytelling.
Well, they thought "Dalek" was a betrayal of the franchise and almost pulled out.

Same here. At the very least they're going to appear in the seasons - he makes no secret of his love for the Zygons... or am I confusing him with Tennant?
Maybe. Both enjoy the lactic-munching shape-shifters.

I think Moffat will be bringing back some of the more obscure monsters if he does bring some back.
Maybe. The latest sighted monster is a kind of green ninja alien in chainmail and everyone's insisting its a Silurian.

Despite the breasts.

I don't know if I mentioned it, but I am mildly annoyed at the flying Daleks - they completely stole the thunder of my idea of re-inventing the Quarks as robots with a sort of gestaltic power-sharing ability which they could use to magnetize and then polarise themselves from one another, giving them a limited ability to fly at great speeds (because of their small weight) and strafe the ground with chain-gun style lasers. I thought it would be a cool gimmick to justify their title as deadly robots and make them more memorable. But now Daleks can fly like birds so it isn't really impressive...
Well, you've always got their impressive firepower and childlike giggling when they kill people. Maybe their heads detach and stab people to death with those spikes?

And in fairness to the Daleks, they WERE doing that before the Quarks were created. Well, in comic strips.

..not that I'm aware of. Are the messages anywhere in particular?
Seemingly random on several blogs. I just delete them.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

It was part of the reason they were in Doomsday (not complete justification, I grant you, but it's easier to use them there than, say, School Reunion) and why they had a mid-season Raynor script.

Ahhh, okay. My annoyance at RTD just diminished greatly.

I probably would have liked it if they hadn't accepted that deal, though.

Aparently there was a big argument when RTD said, "Look, I don't want the Daleks in the finale this year, I've got the Master instead..."

They want every FINALE? Man, that's going to help the tension. Every episode 12, every year, the Doctor tries to work out who's responsible ... and it's the fucking Daleks. It'd be like the big question of whether the Power Rangers can defeat the monster which is only slightly different from the one they faced last week.

Well, they thought "Dalek" was a betrayal of the franchise and almost pulled out.

Ahhh, k.

I'm actually understanding a lot of the odd decisions of the New Series a lot better now..

The latest sighted monster is a kind of green ninja alien in chainmail and everyone's insisting its a Silurian.

.. the Apocalypse Chaser?

BWAHAHAHA! I HAVE JUST KILLED A SPOILER!

Seemingly random on several blogs. I just delete them.

Ah, just got one then. Somebody called anonymous on the post "Alan Stevens is on my blog" who's very keen on Viagra..

Youth of Australia said...

Ahhh, okay. My annoyance at RTD just diminished greatly.
Wow. You'll be liking The Invasion next... (joke)

I probably would have liked it if they hadn't accepted that deal, though.
Well, they didn't think they'd get a second series at the time. Maybe there was a kind of "hah, let em TRY to collect" philosophy at the time?

They want every FINALE?
It's the preference, apparently. It means they're the Big Bad and thus is respectful the concept.

Man, that's going to help the tension. Every episode 12, every year, the Doctor tries to work out who's responsible ... and it's the fucking Daleks.
I think they've already used up that idea. I mean, "Who could be running Big Brother Live?" "What could be in the VoidSphere?" "Who are stealing planets?" worked, but you can't keep doing that. Unless you do something like Seasons of Fear and the evil time travelling radiation-loving monsters turn out to be the Nimon.

It'd be like the big question of whether the Power Rangers can defeat the monster which is only slightly different from the one they faced last week.
But that huge plant thing with its thorns of jealousy! How could ANYONE defeat sucha behemoth?!?

Ahhh, k.
I'm actually understanding a lot of the odd decisions of the New Series a lot better now..

I don't buy the Complete Series Series Magazine Annuals for the pictures... well... I do... but for otherstuff.

Latest THANK GOD THEY CUT THAT revelaton: John Smith singing Bananarama and ABBA songs to woo Joan Redfern. I honestly think I may have begun self-harm seeing David Tennant crooning "Gimme Gimme Gimme" in his Hugh Grant impression...

.. the Apocalypse Chaser?
BWAHAHAHA! I HAVE JUST KILLED A SPOILER!

Oh shit. You could be right. Please god I hope LBC doesn't find out...

Ah, just got one then. Somebody called anonymous on the post "Alan Stevens is on my blog" who's very keen on Viagra..
You should keep that one.

For the subtext.

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