I'm really curious as to why it is that Spambots congregate on the lesser-used areas of the internet. You think it would make more sense to, say, post a bizarre message with a link saying "Hey, I've found a place to download Avatar" on a site that regularly gets 10, 000 visitors than, again hypothetically, in a comment on a blog post I made a year ago about a nightmare night out that made me really hate Guitar Hero.
It makes me wonder if the mythical 'spiders', described to me as 'software-coded robots sent out by search engines' to follow links and find matches for our search queries, eat them somehow.... I don't know, I guess I don't like simple explanations. You heard it here first, what we are seeing is the rather underwhelming aftermath of a decade-long war between robot spiders and ... robotic Nigerian clones. I like the dystopic future sci-fi vibes, seeing as this blog is already firmly entrenched in the grungy gutter of cyberspace.
Essentially I'm just posting to ask the question are we just going to sit around, crying into our keyboards or are we GOIN TA DO SUMFINK ABAAT IT? Basically I was getting mildly annoyed at the Inbox messages I get in my account from threads over a year ago, where some spambot's saying "thank u this really helped with my school project!11" in a post where I accuse Paul Margrs of buggering my goats. WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU GO TO YOU SICK BASTARD??
So I was wondering about a word-verification thing on the posts, but I realise that could be seriously annoying. Let your thoughts be known here. Or not.
Incidentally, are you ever amazed by people online who attempt to turn any topic of conversation around to their pet hates, regardless of the yawning lack of relevance?
Take this Callahan fellow, responding to news of the controversial... wait, everyone thinks that the idea sucks... the ultraversial proposed Torchwood USA series:
"As long as SyFy Channel has NOTHING, WHATSOEVER to do with it. Those Morons would turn it into a blasted Soap Opera, oops, I'm sorry, I forgot to use their Fanboi code word for Soap Opera, Character Driven Drama Series.
He is one of the legion of fans furious, FURIOUS, about the way that Stargate: Universe dares dedicate screen time to anything other than aliens getting shot the fuck up with M16s and guys in glasses making wisecracks about it in the background, with the idea that people scared and alone in a spaceship halfway across the fucking universe with no idea where they are or of any hopes to actually get back to Earth could be scared, uncertain, emotionally frail and feel any need to express any of this. And so, derides it as a 'soap opera'. How many soap operas involve sapient sand mites, chest-bursting space maggots, time travel, crashed alien spaceships and body stealing technology? Aside from Passions. That's what I thought.
What makes this funnier is that FOX is not known for supporting sci-fi in any form - it is probably best known for cancelling them, along with plenty of original shows that yield marginal ratings at best. Because of this, a layman like me would assume that Fox has no dealing with SyFy (shudder, love the shows, hate that fucking name..) and what do you know - I'm right! SyFy is a property of NBC.
Congratulations Callahan, you win the Golden MLock this month for Complete Ineptitude at Online Communication.
Meanwhile, ten years ago...
ME: Hey, you never know, anything is possible.
SOME DUDE: Well, obviously not everything is possible.
ME: Like what?
DUDE: Like... finding a unicorn.
ME: Unless there are unicorns. They could be like they say bigfoot are - if something unobserved you don't really have evidence that it doesn't exist.
DUDE: Okay, fine. But - jumping into the ocean and coming out completely dry.
ME: If you happened to jump through the open hatch of a submarine you would.
DUDE: Yeah, not in a submarine, though, because I said in the ocean.
ME: A submarine's IN the fucking ocean. Ergo, you're in the ocean.
DUDE: That doesn't count!
ME: Why not? You are in the ocean!
DUDE: You're in a submarine that's in the ocean! So it's not possible.
ME: Yeah it is.
ME: Maybe you're in a wetsuit that's charged with electricity, and at that moment the ocean is also charged equally and so you repel each other. And when you come out you're dry.
DUDE: ...what like a fucking forcefield? That's just retarded!
ME: Perhaps. But it's possible.
DUDE: Okay, so you jump into the ocean completely naked -
ME: Organic tissue can also be charged, you know.
DUDE: - WITHOUT a fucking magical bullshit forcefield that comes out of nowhere, into the ocean and STILL come out dry?
ME: You're putting too many constraints on this. You're being too negative.
DUDE: What do you mean?
ME: You say something isn't possible, then I give you two perfectly good examples and all you do is change the argument. That's negative, you're LOOKING for a negative answer.
DUDE: Yeah, well, you can't think of anything, can you?
ME: Maybe if the ocean's got cornflour in it-
DUDE: IT DOESN'T HAVE FUCKING CORNFLOUR!!!
ME: You see! Maybe that's really what the expression is. Anything is possible - subclause: so long as you don't go looking for more and negatives.
ME: I mean, you want to go through life constantly thinking "It will be impossible to get a job assuming I don't get a haircut, don't shave, don't wash my clothes, don't get offered any work as an extra, don't become a male prostitute, don't consider collecting trollies at Woolworths a 'job', don't have any empathic eccentric millionaire relations I don't know about so why even bother?"
DUDE: ...I hate you.
ME: Yeah, I get that a lot.
DUDE: Buy Ciaris now mega hot babes shall be cumming for more COCK!!! Viagra discounts, onlly n Nigeria.
ME: NOOOOOO! IT'S A FUCKING VIRUS!!!
DUDE: Hot teenie b1tch3s take b1g loads!!!! You w@n+? buy w0m3n n000wwUuu!!!11!
(A gigantic spider crashes through the wall and eats the dude)
ME: Oh, man, thanks.
CYBER-ARAGOG: Everybody gets one, fleshman. Everybody gets one.