Thursday, March 4, 2010

Up yours, Sudoku 1494!

This morning I finished a Sudoku.

I know, this really should not be a big deal. But for me, this is a Crowning Moment of Awesome. That may well reflect just how pitifully low the bar has sunk, but so be it.

When the Sudoku was introduced, around the same time that I was doing my HSC, I was briefly Tha Man in a highly specialised field that barely anybody would even bother to acknowledge and those who did wouldn't care about: finding out which number went in which box via thorough process of elimination. This was especially impressive since my parents were quite baffled by the Sudoku and more so by my affinity for them. It lead them to briefly consider me some sort of household Adric, even though I was repeatedly explaining that the exercise didn't involve Maths in any way. At all.

It made me brighten up a bit in the morning - because the Target is always a real challenge even for my vocabulary and the crossword is not only either too hard or too easy, but is the traditional territorial issue in my household. And Christ did my mornings need brightening up, because HSC year was a bad, baaaad year for me. The year I sunk into depression and my mind wandered off to the point where I was on the streets laughing hysterically for 15 minutes unable to stop myself, which I am sure was a breakdown. What made me laugh for 15 minutes? The hairdressers was shut.

Actually, that happened on Graduation Day as well... for a longer time.

It's at this point I pause to wonder about cause and effect - was it my breakdowns and long-running depression that caused me to lose my Sudomojo, or was my ability to complete a 'Diabolical' offering courtesy of the Syndey Morning Herald in around 10 minutes actually a sympton of my brain cracking under the pressure like an egg? And thus, am I back on the mudslide to The Pit without even realising?

It's interesting, because around that stage I was fairly prolific with my prose writing. I remember I wrote the prologue to a PDA I had proposed entirely in my mind called "Monsters of Europa" on the 'working out paper' after I finished my HSC English paper. When I showed it to a friend immediately afterwards he stared at it in bewilderment before asking "Have you ever thought of making money from this shit?"

Indeed I had, my friend. And got that warm glow you get when somebody confirms "I couldn't do this", ie. you do actually have a talent and simply haven't been fooling yourself for years. Moments like that, scattered months apart, I feel are the reason my soul survives.

I also wrote a fair bit of a GOD AWFUL novel entitled Robots of Love, because the favoured title Zombie Love was already taken. In a half-hearted defense, it could make a decent film or maybe comic book at a stretch, because those media seem more sensible homes for the odd shopping list of elements I was working with:

a) A love story
b) Robots who try to take over the world (at least, I think that was the idea..)
c) Two dudes who are clearly me homaging Jay and Silent Bob, swearing like sailors, who bury robots in graveyards for some reason
d) A Holmesian double-act of FBI agents named Abbott and Costello
e) An incredibly hostile and short tempered psychiatrist
f) An apparently immortal Nazi scientist who is training super-intelligent mice

Trust me, it sounds better than it was. Even if you think it sounds crap. I probably should have finished it, though, because it was just a pitch for some dude selling eBooks off a website from first-time authors. The alternative was Time Paradox with Extra Salt, an idea I worked on a little at the time which was been in my head for waaaay too long and wasn't that great in the first place.

It would be good if there was some link between Sudoku-mastery and the ability to build up a word count, because I haven't written a single word for that Big Finish entry and I do want to enter. Could sure do with some of profligactic literary prolificacy of old, as Colin would have to say when the Bakers gave him a script.

My concept of 'Peri and the Doctor are trapped on a weird-arse alien train' is becoming less convincing, and while I've been typing this my mind has wandered to 'Peri and the Doctor are trapped on weird-arse alien Fox News', showing my incredible scope once more.

Watch this space. Watch it until your eyes bleed. Trying to magic-eye it.

There's no reason, I was just wondering if you'd try it.

Now, can I conquer MORE sudoku? And, more to the point, can I achieve something this year? Results may come via this blogspace. So I guess there IS a reason to watch this space... kind of. Not really. I mean, only if you're interested in me. And blogger actually has an app so you can look at which blogs have updated from your profile. So... yeah, I was right there's no reason to do it.

Man, I go downhill so quick they should call me the Slalom.

Anyway, Peri and the Doctor on an alien train. If BF don't like it, it might be on this blog!

3 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

I tried to do a sudoku once. Well, I mean, I succeeded, did a few more, then realized I was getting absolutely no enjoyment from it whatsoever. I can appreciate the 'process of elimination' aspect but, to misquote Moffat, I would never do it recreationally.

My mum monopolizes the Target, but I think it's brilliant anyway.

I coped quite well in HSC year, mainly by my insane obsession of creating YOA scripts the rate of one a day. Actually I did damn well reasonable in the exams, but my UAI was what was the problem. But yeah, it was after that when everything went down hill...

Your novel ideas sound cool.

And your Doc/Peri idea seems pretty good. BF have only done one DW train story, and that was for Gallifrey 90210. You should be quids in that aspect.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I find the Sudoku satisfying, but I've got no idea why.

I coped quite well in HSC year, mainly by my insane obsession of creating YOA scripts the rate of one a day.

So THAT's why there's so blooming many!

Actually I did damn well reasonable in the exams, but my UAI was what was the problem.

Same, DUDE!!! Then, in retrospect, I probably really wouldn't have wanted to do a uni course. I was more interested in the prospects of all this mythical no-strings-attached university sex I hear so much about.

Your novel ideas sound cool.

Maybe I should actually look at it again. I remember it not quite gelling...

And your Doc/Peri idea seems pretty good. BF have only done one DW train story, and that was for Gallifrey 90210.

Loup-Garoux doesn't count?

Youth of Australia said...

So THAT's why there's so blooming many!
Yeah, but I only finished about thirteen...

Same, DUDE!!! Then, in retrospect, I probably really wouldn't have wanted to do a uni course. I was more interested in the prospects of all this mythical no-strings-attached university sex I hear so much about.
I KNEW there was something I forgot to do before I dropped out...

Loup-Garoux doesn't count?
...well, I doubt it. Certainly you've got nine years without train stories and a completely different Doc/companion to go for.