Friday, April 9, 2010

Preferred Hobby of B7 Fans...

Everyone on the internet should stop making their alternate B7 casts. Right now. This epiphany is brought on by seeing this:

My Cast Is This

Blake - Micheal Sheen
Avon - Ralf Spall
Vila - Ben Miller
Jenna - Sheridan Smith
Gan - Dean Andrews
Zen - Roy Skelton
Cally - Niky Wardley
Orac - Norman Lovett
Slave - Paul Darrow
Dayna - Lenora Crichlow
Tarrent - Richard Ayoade
Soolin - Joanna Page

Servalan - Michelle Ryan
Travis - Ross Kemp

Whats Your Cast?
Do You Agree With Me?
Our Dont You?


Courtesy of a deviant named martinwilliamrandall, on IMDb at least. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming it is a joke, yet it is still all too credible. Even Dean "Ray from Life on Mars" Andrews as Gan (for fuck's sake!) isn't too amazing as Philip Glenister was suggested by an all too-serious fan for the part. The thing that made the above mind-blowing was the bloke who drew up that shit had the nerve to be hyper-critical of anything else that got posted.

At the same time, I'd like to break my own veto with a cast, that I actually wrote up months and months ago, which looking back doesn't read too well now. Ah well, I give myself permission to post it.


Blake - Rufus Sewell

Avon - Paul Bettany

Jenna - Isla Fisher.... (I was thinking of India then got sidetracked. Hey, she's faintly plausible if nothing else..)

Vila - Simon Pegg

Cally - Claire Forlani

Gan - David Harewood (well, until I hear any BETTER suggestions, people!)

Travis - Richard Armitage ... failing that wheel in Pete Serafinowicz

Servalan - ...I've drawn a blank on this one for a long while. BUT I'm going out on a limb and saying... Billie Piper. Or at least, somebody a lot like her. She can play the conceited charm, the smug entitlement, and definitely has the playfulness and I'm sure can do the sinister side. Her natural voice is just right for the part. Physically she's nearly the polar opposite of Jacqui Pearce, but I don't think that should be seen as too big a deal - to me, Servi is a much more personaltity-driven role.
Or it could just be that chick from V.

Tarrant - Ioan Gruffudd

Dayna - .. I actually have no idea, but at the same time I think it should be a complete unknown, since Dayna was around 18 as I recall. Failing that.... Freema.


I also unwisely decided to illustrate this with a careful photoshopping of what it would look like if the original cast were to travel through time, hunt down the above actors and kill them before wearing their faces around.



Yes, I know, must try harder. It isn't easy being the one guy on the net who can't photoshop, you know...

2 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

LOL. Blake's 7: The Leatherface Years.

That original list disturbed me and was another notch on the "never bring it back" reasons.

My cousins and I used to play that game all the time, Fantasy B7, but it's hard to remember them. One time we thought Alan Davies could be Blake, a big butch Aussie comedian called Sue something was Jenna, and Paul McDermott and Flacco as Avon and Vila respectively.

Off the top of my head.. seriously... no real thought at all...

Blake - David Harewood
Jenna - "Rosita from the Next Doctor"
Avon - Keith Allan
Vila - Simon Pegg (he's a fan apart from anything else)
Gan - Mark Donovan
Cally - Myanna Burning
Zen - Alex Armstrong
Orac - Bernard Cribbins
Dayna - Georgia Moffat
Tarrant - Mark Gatiss
Soolin - Helen Baxendale
Slave - Bill Bailey

Servalan - Michelle Ryan
Travis - John Simm

Raiker - James Marsters
Vargas - Julian Bleach
Sinofar - Billie Piper
Giroc - Camille Coduri
Ensor - Ben Elton
Bek - Sam Troughton
Del Grant - Jonas Armstrong
Docholli - Tom Baker
Hal Mellanby - Philip Madoc
Klegg the Invincible - Burn Gorman
Hower - Michael Caine
The Thaarn - Nicholas Briggs
Calif - Francis Greenslade
Jarvik - Phil Glennister
Bayban the Butcher - Matt Smith
Anna - Joanne Froggat
Vinny - Dylan Moran
Sleer/Pella - Keeley Hawes
Dorian - REG
Atlan - Bob Downe
Justin - John Barrowman
Cancer - Catherine Tate
Belkov - Ricky Gervais
Investigator Reeve - Nigel Planer
Kieller - Hamish Blake
Egrorian - RTD
Pinder - David Tennant (old age makeup)
Zukan - Lenny Henry
Deva - Paul McGann

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

That original list disturbed me and was another notch on the "never bring it back" reasons.

Wow, you went further than me. This post was one that had been sitting on my harddrive for months so I wasn't sure if the cast list was truly offensive as I first found it.

I wasn't sure about Michelle Ryan as Servi, but when I think about it I guess she had a bit of that look in Planet of the Dead...

And I'm amazed by your stream of consciousness casting. David Harewood WOULD make a great Blake, too - I had him in the wrong role!

Orac - Bernard Cribbins

This is one that amazes me - when you first read it it seems like a terrible idea. Then you think about it, and it becomes awesome.

lol Lenny Henry as Zukan...