Friday, September 17, 2010

I,m writing this on a an iPad

Oh wyes, how uncharacteristic of the new head of the Holy Order of Armed Luddite bastards to do, but apparently in my work I Need to stay up to date wih the evolutionary cull-de-sacs of technology . So here begins then this particularly typo-ridden entry tint the annals of my bolo rem .... Eeeerm blog.. Please stop predictive texting me Mr Jobs. Just stop.

So, when I am no longer being a pretentious wanker with remarkably non-useful technology when I'm meant to be working what can we looek forward to? well not altogether that much , brut her,s a sneak peek

! Jared turns himself into a cripple emotionally AND phsyically playing laser tag!

! Jad watches some old Doctor Who DVDs and bitches about Malcolm Hulke"s grasp of drama. Jared also does something similar.

! Jared finds himself to be cast in the role of Tim from THe Office by God!

! Tim From The Office finds himself cast in the part of Jared by a BETTER GOD in the New Sherlock Holmes!

! I fess up about having watched the Robert Downey Junior New Sherlock Holmes ... And qute liking it!

! I sit on my are and watch stile more TV!



......... Jared writes quite a long and effortlessly witty post, then proceeds to lose it all due to the fact that the iPad has a massively ineffectual touchscreen that believes that when I say "Pubslish post" I smear for it to DELETE EVERYTHING, Steve EJobs.... Yosu are without a doubt the weakest, most spineless dog ever to attach 1s and 0s together in semi meaningful clumsps. YOUD Mke me ME SICK!!!! DON,T EVER DESIGN A LAPTOP AGAIN!!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAaH!!!!! DOUBLE THE FIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


... Oh, wait a minute, its still here.. This thing that just can't frigging scroll. Ah well... Back to our scheduled programming...

! I fuck up an annoying running gag by ceasing to refer to myself in the third person!

! I recount wanting to starting to write a suicidal blog entry about Internet dating literally minutes before it started to work!

! Jared conspires to cock-block his indefatigable Dutch housemate!

! Jared conspires to commit copyright infringement!

! Jared is wrongfully arrested and then ritually acquitted of child pornography charges. Wheile NAKED!

! Jared almost seems to subconsciously wish to be fired since he's typing this.... On. A work computer no loess!

! Jared stars in the most tepid film of this summer. Maybe!

! Jared fails to overcome writer,s block!

! Jared contemplates going into Young Adult writing because they'll clearly buy any old rubbish!

! Jared gets a haircut!

! Jared goes "ZOMG SGU COMING BSCK!"

! Jared notices that there has actually been a critically Fellated new series of Doctor Who and passes some form of unnecessary commentary riddled with needlessly lowbrow humor and homophobic slurs against Messrs All&

4 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

...right.

That's nice.

I think.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Aha, just as baffling as I had hoped!!


..oh and the movie thing didn't end up happening. Sorry about that.

Youth of Australia said...

No hassle. Saw Tomorrow with my parents. Not a bad flick.

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