Friday, March 30, 2012

From Zero to Patient Zero

Well, Mallett-Gate has swung shut with a dull thud and I was hoping it would inspire me and give me the energy to write more. And it did, very briefly, but Fate is always waiting to peg in one way or the more insidious other. I'd have written a lot more now but for one small thing.

A mosquito. Carrying the Ross River Virus.

I didn't notice the petite female digging its nose into my flesh at the time because I was also host to its entire extended family at the time - I was bitten about 200 times in the one night. But she's the one that counted, and I got infected. Without realising anything was amiss I went to the gym the next day.

I need to say something that should probably surprise nobody... the Ross River Virus really sucks. Your joints seize up, you feel more tired, your head blocks up, your immune system is weakend... it really isn't fun. Oh and it makes you prone to depression. For a change.

So basically I haven't being doing the writing I'd like to because I've been told I need bed rest, I've been limping, getting x-rays, taking anti-inflammatories, getting flu-symptons, guzzling Vitamin C, getting stabbed with Vitamin B and this is a disease that instils fatigue.

AND I haven't missed a single day of work! Why, oh lord, did I have to be born Protestant?

In other news from a while ago before I got infected with a disease that's put paid to my noble goal of giving blood I'm entirely out of Pymble. Free of that house that stifled me with its oppressive and surreal atmosphere and Brazil-esque disturbing air coniditioning.

Leaving, however, was quite an odd experience. The lady of the house was trying to convince me to stay even as I gave her the key back and was encouraging me to come around for dinner any time I'd be able. Considering that we had barely spoken while I was there, I wasn't expecting much response at all, yet alone one so strong.

It made me think how shut-off I've become in my day to day life. Since my life turned into the ending of "Blake" a year ago I still haven't really trusted anybody too much. Which hasn't been helped by my two closest friends clumsily lying to me for several months for reasons that I still can't quite fathom. Although, you know, the massive language barrier didn't really help.

But there isn't much point in getting sentimental. That room was bloody awful for me in every possible way. I was getting no sleep, it wasn't close to anywhere for dinner other than Dominos, I couldn't afford the rent and I was sharing with a man who was possibly insane.

That is, he saw ants nest nobody else did and believed that cockroaches had made a nest inside his PSP. Even though it's only slightly larger than a mobile phone.

Oh, and if dear old Kyron is reading this, if anything your complaints my work helped my career, because I've been getting more hours. Cheers, mate!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Media Watch style response

Occassionally somebody writes something that misses the point so absolutely, it is necessary to write a response that simply corrects their mistakes in managing to read text. I will attempt to assay the role of the respected Jonathan Holmes and merely correct errors made in the written form and not respond to the point-scoring therein...

Quotations below come from the latest blog entry by 'Matty Knoller' at this address, the second he has addressed directly at me although the others have now been deleted, it would seem. All emphasis in quotes has been added.

However both individual during their short stays on my forum, registered with full emails, IPs visible and in one case in their full name. Those same IPs are visible on the history changes of the Wikia page. Clearly cyber-crime is not their forte!

Except that they were invited to post on your forums by you, yourself. No purpose was to be served by hiding identity and no crime was attempted much less committed.

Young master Hansen though hasn't realised that 'it's over'.

The advice I gave to 'XXXX' was to ignore any future posts, which I am currently ignoring myself by posting this as it would happen, but I'll maintain a clear conscience over the matter. If you actually check the date on the original post, you'll see it was made on the same day as the original post by Mr Mallett, not the day he happened to first read it.


That's assuming I saw it from the day it went up. It also assumes he knows what 'college professors' are all capable of and that they are all capable of the same thing!

No it isn't. This passage is primarily what made me write this response, as you quoted me entirely out of context quite bizarrely. In the passage he quotes, as can be seen in the post beneath this one, I was referring to a minor dispute between a rap group named Insane Clown Posse and a vlogger on YouTube named Zinnia Jones.


My Doctorate is very real. I have written only two theses and not three (as my first was awarded first class honours I qualified to enter a PhD program at my university) and the last one was marked and approved by very distinguished academics both here and in the USA. Just because you may be at a certain level doesn't mean others who are at a higher level of academic achievement appreciate being libelled and won't act. You don't do that without being able to think and write at a very high level of proficiency. I can't show you my Doctorate without revealing my true name. For the sake of not re initiating a dispute with the original individual I'm not going to 'republish' my responses to his comments, needless to say my arguments were sound or be provoked into revealing my actual identity.

I'm grateful for this paragraph to an extent because it explains how on Earth Mallett thought he had grounds for a libel lawsuit against me. 'The user' I referred to and described as a 'high school dropout' is again Zinnia Jones the YouTube vlogger who I was discussing in the paragraph which he has quoted. I have to admit, I cannot clearly remember whether she stated she was a high school or college dropout so I may have inadvertently libelled HER, so apologies if Ms Jones finds this blog and I will be happy to correct the error, if indeed one has been made.


Particularly if the best you can come up with is that 'I'm working on three novels, and I have several unfinished scripts.' At least the other couple of fellows had actually achieved a bit.

I stated that because I don't believe fan fiction or non-profit short films constitutes an achievement and was discussing creative achievements at the time. I am currently working two jobs.


But this Den of Inadequacy blog as a sort of naive charm about it. He admits to only having an audience of three (which is sort of like sitting in an empty room talking to yourself for 55 sessions a year while two others occasionally drop in to listen) and wants to get on an achieve more but wastes time waging in to arguments that don't concern him as he's been 'waiting for a misinformed ass to try and start something'. Were we all this silly at circa 20? Anyway I digress...

For a change, Mallett decides to quote me out of context. The '55 blog posts a year' was referring to Ewen's blog over 2011. My number, you can see by looking to your right, is a considerably less impressive six, or one every two months on average. The quoted sentence comes from a passage where I am discussing how I have effectively abandoned my blog entirely, and THE BLOG is sitting, waiting for a misinformed ass to start something. This was in part an allusion back to the past when Lawrence Miles and Alan Stevens have been considerably more esteemed and gentlemanly visitors, but mostly referring to the fact I have had no real reason or drive to post here for some time.

Actually most writers start writing in their spare time.

Okay, just to stop being media watch for a second...



What follows from this point is quite curious, and it stems from an alleged quote of mine...

From my POV I think: 'It takes me no time at all to do what I do on the net, unlke you guys, who take a month of leave from your work everytime you write a blog post.

Which, incidentally, I never said. Yes, he is now MISquoting me. The phrase "From my POV" does not appear in my post at all, and completely changes the meaning of the following remark placed in inverted commas. Like most writers, I use inverted commas to attribute a remark to someone else, rather than to express something from my own point of view.

This is an interesting adaptation of a strawman argument, to attribute a view I was mocking to me to make it easier to counter than any real argument, unless this was not deliberate and another case of mis-reading the original post.

It would be helpful for any and all academics to be aware that when you append a quotation with your own writing it is meant to be stated [within parantheses].

My main blog response at the beginning of this whole affair was written in a couple of hours but it probably represented several hours of thought and a few scribbled notes over two days. I put time aside one morning specifically to do it. The others have been done in less than 15 minutes. This is the most time I've spent on one since I started (partly as I have to type his writing out because I can't figure out how to cut and paste it from a screen shot or the website without getting all sorts of formatting errors).

Okay, another break... sorry, Jonathan, but I can't follow your example and I need to say this is horribly depressing. Effectively Ed Wood is lecturing me on how filmwork is done.

However Jared assumes here that the process of writing is just 'typing some text in a window', which doesn't bode well for his aspirations to write well in the future. Writing goes on 24 hours a day in your head if not your fingers.

Speaking specifically of writing a blog, which is. I am incidentally writing 24 hours a day, 'in my head' but don't classify that as 'work'.

But that bit was vital. You're assuming that if something is hard to follow its just boring and not important.

To go back here, Mr Mallett wrote.... a number I can't specify because he has taken down HIS original offensive blog post... but I remember 3-4 paragraphs in an attempt to exonerate his friend 'Peter Q', a man myself, Ewen, Cameron, Miles and anyone else concerned do not know and do not really care about. 'Peter Q' could be anyone, and it is not directly relevant to us.

So, an insult that nobody was insulted by was delivered by somebody going by the name of 'Peter Q' who was allegedly NOT somebody ELSE who goes by the name 'Peter Q', both of whom we have had no prior engagement with nor knowledge of and are unlikely to do so in the future. 'Important' is a relative term so I suppose I must concede that this incredibly boring stuff about clearing the assumed name of a friend of his is of importance to Mr Mallett.

To be fair he does also allege that XXXX accused him of posting under the name 'Peter Q' himself. To judge the grounds of this allegation, look through this corrections and gauge the depth of his ability to critically read communication.

Again you're assuming that I have the time and resources to search the entire net in order to make the connection. I had a couple of hours at most. I think that if its so important to be recognised for who he is, then at least all his Who writing should be done under the one name or handle

Most, if not all of his creative work can be found under the several blogs he has in his one Blogspot account. Also, possibly slightly ironic statement given that this saga began with an offhand comment that one of Mr Mallett's friends described him as having vanished off the web, when in actual fact it was due to the fact he was working under another name.

I suspect there was is 'reason' for making the connection between his public name and his blogging name murky, so that he can indulge in some negativity and not tarnish the former.

I can say with quite a lot of confidence that there isn't.

Again you're assuming that was my motivation. My motivation was to respond and put the record straight to the unprovoked level of bile directed at me personally... It is not a nice thing to do, particularly when you don't have all the facts and his own motivation was clearly driven by an intolerance for anyone who dislikes the new series.

Do you have a statement given by 'XXXX' saying that he was motivated by an intolerance for everyone who dislikes the new series? Or are you making an assumption?

Again that's a direct personal attack, libellous, partially illiterate and assumes that if you can't see the significance in something, then there is none

Nope. It's just Chuck Testa. I said that what you wrote was the manner of a tale one could expect to hear from an idiot. That does not necessarily signify that the author is an idiot, just that he has represented himself as one, whether willingly or not, via his poor choice of words.

There a generational gap in jargon here. ATAOM?

A Teaspoon and an Open Mind

Now in Jared's world, I actually have a Doctorate after all?! I'm he one who's confused.

Yes. I noticed.

...I've given up on the Jonathan Holmes thing, I guess.

I thought he said I hadn't done my research.

I said 'some time'. Some = any quantity greater than zero, but lesser than or equal to lots. Both statements can be literally true.

Oh, no! Watch out for the 'Insane Clown Posse'. His mentor must be very proud. If only he had his mentor's wit and style!

I am actually not a fan of Insane Clown Posse, as I even said in the comments section. The link was simply appropriate given the context I had explained with the comparison in the early paragraphs that he did not, it is clear, understand. For the sake of completeness my favourite musical acts are Ben Folds, The Killers and Icehouse, and I consider none of them to be 'mentors'.


Clearly I wouldn't make a good host of Media Watch, but I hope I've gotten the point across. One of my biggest peeves is people who make lengthy responses having apparently misunderstood gigantic swathes of the original, and this was a textbook example.

You can call me a waster, an idiot, a simpleton with no critical thinking, a socially-stunted child, a terrible writer, Australia's Assumptions-Laureate - you can even call me a high school dropout and I promise I won't sue you. But don't misquote me.

Because when you misquote me... it is mildly irritating. Which sets this above what's happened so far.


EDIT: Oh, I missed my favourite part of the post, where he concedes that he actually has been advised he has no grounds for a libel charge. Guess the only way he'll be making a HECS debt look like a lunch tab is if he uses a wand and a top hat.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Have You Heard of David Restal?

Yes, I have heard of David Restal. He's the central-most character in the eponymous power-troika The Youth of Australia, created by Ewen Campion-Clarke, a firm friend of mine with whom I am regrettably constantly falling out of touch for my own reasons.

And might I add, what a bizarre question to be asked.

Not as bizarre as the answer provided by Kyron Mallet, in a long-winded post that would usually bring me a lot of amusement but I mustn't be in quite the mood for it at the moment. The same cliched, tired, filibustering, elitist kind of response that I seem to get about everything. Well, not that it's explicitly related to me. Let's just wait and see if he mentions "Dave Restal's" unusually angry American cohort Johan Redsen.

A recap to the people who I imagine read this blog which I've abandoned - Ron Mallet is a man who has written a large number of rants relating to Doctor Who and astonishingly bad fan fiction. There isn't much more to it than that. He trash talks at this hyperlink: , which shall self-destruct in 168 hours.

At the first paragraph of actual content, he manages to fuck a lot of things up:

And so begins our journey over to the under, underside of the net: ‘the ones with little to say and without the skills to do so properly, but who spend their whole lives blogging relentlessly.’ And it’s almost always to themselves and an audience of three (which includes their own mother).

I'm working on three novels and I have several unfinished scripts. I have a lot to say. I am highly literate and everything I've written has been better received than the crimes against the English language that are the fanfics Mallett has sharted out onto the internet. Spend my whole life blogging relentlessly? This blog is basically boarded up with cobwebs at this stage, just waiting for a misinformed ass to try and start something.

The audience of three is roughly accurate, but I don't show any of it to my mother. Yes, it's intended more directly to Ewen but the same responses apply.

I mean, if you honestly think that 55 blog posts in the space of a whole year means that you need to be a 'relentless blogger', you are screwed in the head. BUT this is a very common argument of anybody insecure when faced by a verbose argument against them online. When somebody gave a very incisive criticism in 4 minutes on YouTube about how disturbing the message of Insane Clown Posse's single "Miracles" was, they responded by deriding the "college professor who took a week of work to write a response"

It does not take college professors a week entirely free of any distractions to come up with a four minute argument, no matter how perfectly eloquently it is worded. Nor does it take that long for a high school dropout, as the user actually was. These are arguments used by people who do not realise that they are lacking in their ability to construct arguments and follow thoughts down their logical paths, a defence mechanism to invalidate their detractors - they can only win this argument because they have to sacrifice to do it.

No, they don't. They sacrifice as much time as you, even less, perhaps. They are simply smarter than you are.

I am and have been lots of things in my own life: a husband, father, son, brother, employer, employee, success, failure, bankrupt, success, academic, published writer… I could go on and on and on and the reason is, is that I have actually had a life. There’s more to me than a blog and a passion for the now sadly desecrated concept of Doctor Who!

Oh, how unpredictable! Just what we were talking about! The "I have a life!!!" argument. The "I am on a different strata of evolution, so I don't have to answer this crap". That only comes up in every internet argument ever...

Yes, you have a life. It's incredible. Everybody who can't answer a straightforward point has more of a life than I do, and knows this without finding out anything about me other than my own opinion.

About a decade ago and in my spare time

EMPHASIS ADDED - oh dear, this is going to be a theme isn't it? "It takes me no time at all to do what I do on the net, unlike you guys, who take a month of leave from your work everytime you write a blog post". Uggggh.

He then goes into quite a bit of detail about making his own reconstructions, like the Loose Canon ones, primarily for his own enjoyment. Sorry? Didn't you just say that spending a large amount of time on something solely for the enjoyment of yourself and a small audience was a sign of a complete loser? Oh, no worry. I'm sure editing surviving audio and surviving photographs and film from Hartnell and Troughton stories is much simpler than typing some text in a window...



Christ I nearly fell asleep at the part where he explains that Peter Q is totally innocent of being Peter Q. Like... huh? What? "This guy watches Countdown, he'd never be a prick!" seemed to be the gist, I guess. I'm sure he needed...


...actually this is getting incredibly confusing. I am not sure what incidents he's referring to now... half of this seems to be in response to blogposts that I have never read and know nothing about.

It really falls from there into a gigantic quagmire of hypocrisy and confusingly longwinded writing before settling on crass and dull insults, whilst being remarkably uninformed. To say that Ewen has 'never attempted' creative writing similar to Mallet's is the oddest thing that I have read and suggests that his 'research' for this response is incredibly cursory at best. Can we then assume he has any real grounds for calling him a 'piece of shit' other than the fact that this has really got under his skin?

What claim does he have for being somehow a better person when he writes nearly five thousands words slurring somebody else's character? How can he claim for it to not be hypocritical when his foremost beef is that Ewen, supposedly, has slurred HIS character based purely on what he 'thought he knew about' him from online experience?

And your response is based on what, exactly? Nothing more, ever more, never more, and is heard no more. It is the tale of an idiot, full of bile and butthurt and signifying nothing. When you take away the hypocritical arguments (how can one fan fic author have a bigger and more receptive audience on ATAOM for gawd's sake) and downright misinformation it cancels itself out! You're left with 5,000 words that amount to "Well fuck you too"

The funny thing is, this time it DID come from somebody with a Doctorate, who, in all seriousness, has taken some time to pen such a wordy response and research the players involved, no matter how ineptly. Does this warrant a response from Insane Clown Posse therefore?

Eh, why not?