Friday, March 9, 2012

Have You Heard of David Restal?

Yes, I have heard of David Restal. He's the central-most character in the eponymous power-troika The Youth of Australia, created by Ewen Campion-Clarke, a firm friend of mine with whom I am regrettably constantly falling out of touch for my own reasons.

And might I add, what a bizarre question to be asked.

Not as bizarre as the answer provided by Kyron Mallet, in a long-winded post that would usually bring me a lot of amusement but I mustn't be in quite the mood for it at the moment. The same cliched, tired, filibustering, elitist kind of response that I seem to get about everything. Well, not that it's explicitly related to me. Let's just wait and see if he mentions "Dave Restal's" unusually angry American cohort Johan Redsen.

A recap to the people who I imagine read this blog which I've abandoned - Ron Mallet is a man who has written a large number of rants relating to Doctor Who and astonishingly bad fan fiction. There isn't much more to it than that. He trash talks at this hyperlink: , which shall self-destruct in 168 hours.

At the first paragraph of actual content, he manages to fuck a lot of things up:

And so begins our journey over to the under, underside of the net: ‘the ones with little to say and without the skills to do so properly, but who spend their whole lives blogging relentlessly.’ And it’s almost always to themselves and an audience of three (which includes their own mother).

I'm working on three novels and I have several unfinished scripts. I have a lot to say. I am highly literate and everything I've written has been better received than the crimes against the English language that are the fanfics Mallett has sharted out onto the internet. Spend my whole life blogging relentlessly? This blog is basically boarded up with cobwebs at this stage, just waiting for a misinformed ass to try and start something.

The audience of three is roughly accurate, but I don't show any of it to my mother. Yes, it's intended more directly to Ewen but the same responses apply.

I mean, if you honestly think that 55 blog posts in the space of a whole year means that you need to be a 'relentless blogger', you are screwed in the head. BUT this is a very common argument of anybody insecure when faced by a verbose argument against them online. When somebody gave a very incisive criticism in 4 minutes on YouTube about how disturbing the message of Insane Clown Posse's single "Miracles" was, they responded by deriding the "college professor who took a week of work to write a response"

It does not take college professors a week entirely free of any distractions to come up with a four minute argument, no matter how perfectly eloquently it is worded. Nor does it take that long for a high school dropout, as the user actually was. These are arguments used by people who do not realise that they are lacking in their ability to construct arguments and follow thoughts down their logical paths, a defence mechanism to invalidate their detractors - they can only win this argument because they have to sacrifice to do it.

No, they don't. They sacrifice as much time as you, even less, perhaps. They are simply smarter than you are.

I am and have been lots of things in my own life: a husband, father, son, brother, employer, employee, success, failure, bankrupt, success, academic, published writer… I could go on and on and on and the reason is, is that I have actually had a life. There’s more to me than a blog and a passion for the now sadly desecrated concept of Doctor Who!

Oh, how unpredictable! Just what we were talking about! The "I have a life!!!" argument. The "I am on a different strata of evolution, so I don't have to answer this crap". That only comes up in every internet argument ever...

Yes, you have a life. It's incredible. Everybody who can't answer a straightforward point has more of a life than I do, and knows this without finding out anything about me other than my own opinion.

About a decade ago and in my spare time

EMPHASIS ADDED - oh dear, this is going to be a theme isn't it? "It takes me no time at all to do what I do on the net, unlike you guys, who take a month of leave from your work everytime you write a blog post". Uggggh.

He then goes into quite a bit of detail about making his own reconstructions, like the Loose Canon ones, primarily for his own enjoyment. Sorry? Didn't you just say that spending a large amount of time on something solely for the enjoyment of yourself and a small audience was a sign of a complete loser? Oh, no worry. I'm sure editing surviving audio and surviving photographs and film from Hartnell and Troughton stories is much simpler than typing some text in a window...



Christ I nearly fell asleep at the part where he explains that Peter Q is totally innocent of being Peter Q. Like... huh? What? "This guy watches Countdown, he'd never be a prick!" seemed to be the gist, I guess. I'm sure he needed...


...actually this is getting incredibly confusing. I am not sure what incidents he's referring to now... half of this seems to be in response to blogposts that I have never read and know nothing about.

It really falls from there into a gigantic quagmire of hypocrisy and confusingly longwinded writing before settling on crass and dull insults, whilst being remarkably uninformed. To say that Ewen has 'never attempted' creative writing similar to Mallet's is the oddest thing that I have read and suggests that his 'research' for this response is incredibly cursory at best. Can we then assume he has any real grounds for calling him a 'piece of shit' other than the fact that this has really got under his skin?

What claim does he have for being somehow a better person when he writes nearly five thousands words slurring somebody else's character? How can he claim for it to not be hypocritical when his foremost beef is that Ewen, supposedly, has slurred HIS character based purely on what he 'thought he knew about' him from online experience?

And your response is based on what, exactly? Nothing more, ever more, never more, and is heard no more. It is the tale of an idiot, full of bile and butthurt and signifying nothing. When you take away the hypocritical arguments (how can one fan fic author have a bigger and more receptive audience on ATAOM for gawd's sake) and downright misinformation it cancels itself out! You're left with 5,000 words that amount to "Well fuck you too"

The funny thing is, this time it DID come from somebody with a Doctorate, who, in all seriousness, has taken some time to pen such a wordy response and research the players involved, no matter how ineptly. Does this warrant a response from Insane Clown Posse therefore?

Eh, why not?

41 comments:

Youth of Australia said...

It is the tale of an idiot, full of bile and butthurt and signifying nothing.

That does it. Shakespeare has finally lost his crown as the ultimate playright.

The Hedjon Sedran canon takes over from here on in!

Oh, Insane Clown Posse. Where were you at Versailles when the world needed your clarity of vision?

(Plus, thanks for defending the EXISTENCE of my writings. The claim I'd done nothing was roughly equivalent to Mallett ending the argument with "AND HE'S ONLY GOT ONE LEG!!" for factual accuracy.)

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Oh, Insane Clown Posse. Where were you at Versailles when the world needed your clarity of vision?

I've never been their biggest fan but they've written enough catchy songs. And I can't help but like anarchist characters...

Plus, thanks for defending the EXISTENCE of my writings. The claim I'd done nothing was roughly equivalent to Mallett ending the argument with "AND HE'S ONLY GOT ONE LEG!!" for factual accuracy

Well he also hasn't worked out your name or any other details like that..

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

...is it just me or did Mallet take the blog down a lot quicker than he promised to?

Youth of Australia said...

Did he? I thought it was still up? I even posted a comment of one word on it...

Hmph. Coward.

Oh well, it's archived on my own blog if anyone needs it.

Well he also hasn't worked out your name or any other details like that..

Apparently he read through my cartoons... and I'm glad a comic genius of his standing (he's already boasted about the "Michael Grade gives RTD blowjobs" side-splitting hilarity) was able to judge my meagre work unworthy.

Youth of Australia said...

Oh, that one word review wasn't "coward", BTW. Just realized my post was misleading on that score.

It was actually "Beautiful!" spoken like a Sontaran with a sucking chest wound.

Youth of Australia said...

And now he's switched off coments.

The coward.

Miles Reid said...

I have to confess, I have never sucked a chest wound. All those occurances before were lies.

Miles Reid said...

I have to confess, I have never sucked a chest wound. All those occurances before were lies.

Youth of Australia said...

It was worth mentioning twice. :)

I've decided to sweep the thing off my blog until further notice. There's only so much negativity that should be in the bloggosphere at a given time.

Youth of Australia said...

Oh, and the venerable Mallett of Justice is now hammering into you, Johan Redsen.

http://mknoller69.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/staring-down-pack-well-three-little.html

Maybe it's just because The Poison Sky was on, but I keep getting visions of Luke Rattigan stamping his foot and screaming "I'M BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU!!"

Yeah, course you are, mate.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

It's definitely big of him to not allow comments on his blog from anybody but himself after we responded to the initial post. Sigh. My response here then :


Very well, then, you want a formal apology? I am sorry for sincerely posting a reasonable post, imploring you to stop losing your temper at a small group of people on the internet, because it was becoming quickly apparent that your actual online literacy was far more limited than your disturbingly irrational amount of anger, and wishing you to spare yourself some degree of dignity in proceedings since you claimed to be concerned about your image. I had no idea that you would interpret this in completely blinkered alpha male terms of me being a pussy who was 'outgunned' by your ingenious use of the words 'cunt', 'dickhead', 'piece of shit' and other such terms you no doubt learnt in your highly impressive doctorate.

To let little creatures who like hiding in the underside of the net know what it feels like to be slagged off and to do it on their own patch

Okay. Do you know anybody who's good at slagging people off, and maybe we can book him in sometime?

I have an over-inflated opinion of myself because I state the truth that I am better known than ‘Restal’. This is very much the case. Poll away

No. You said "Most fans know who I am". This is blatantly not true.

Incidentally, inverted commas around MST3K isn't necessary, it's a recognised term online as a noun and a verb, from the Seattle TV show "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" where a janitor in the future was forced to watch bad movies on a satellite with robots in perpetuity with no escape. The concept of MST3K review is that a cast of characters respond through dialogue to the fiction. If you want to just review Final Draft in your usual style then it will be a 'rant'.

Also, Ewen and Miles have both written audio adventures that can be freely downloaded online, since that's some kind of yardstick of who has the biggest cock in the Doctor Who world.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Incidentally, his blog is 'mknoller69'... if he was born in 1969 that makes him nearly two decades my senior. So should he be as proud as he is of being marginally more respectable than us?

Miles Reid said...

Wow... he might honestly be one of the most pathetic people I've ever had the misfortune to encounter on the internet. Hell, I wasn't even laying into him all that much, just kinda dismissing the man's enormous ego and superiority complex. Is he that insecure at his age?

Guess so.

Youth of Australia said...

I just put the 69 bit down to his own sexual proclivaties and left it at that.

I don't get why he invited me onto his forum, then banned me, then posted "HAHAHAHAHA!" as though he had proved anything other than his uncontrollable misanthropy.

Miles Reid said...

I just really hope that he didn't confuse me with Miles Reid, Professor of Mathmatics at Warwick University. I'm sure that guy gets some of my mail.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

After all that... after ALL that talk... he just banned you? That was IT?

"Try this shit in ma neighbahood, bwaii and see how we handle things in MY SIDE OF TOWN!!!"

"Okay. Hello. My name is Ewen and I am here at the behest of-"

*BLOCKED*

"Lalalala, we can't hear you! THIS IS THE SOUND OF OWNAGE!!!"

I mean, I guess he didn't know that you are well immune to the sting of a ban by this stage but... still. This is all the kind of behaviour I expect from pre-pubescent kids online trying to intimidate others.

I never thought I'd say this, but I think if anything you were too soft on Ron Mallet when you wrote those articles.

Cameron Mason said...

Well since he's not allowing comments on his blog, which strikes me as being just a bit cowardly, I'll just have to deal with it here.

Oh well young master CM of AU – you must be a world class proof-reader.

Or incorrect use of terminology stuck out like a sore thumb.

I have an over-inflated opinion of myself because I state the truth that I am better known than ‘Restal’.

So what?

I wonder if I should try to google any of these three misfits?

Misfits?

What superpower did the storm grant me?


‘appeals to authority’ technique.

I'm some sort of authority figure?

You've really got the wrong idea...

His very thin googling results reveal that while slightly further out of the shadows than ‘Restal’,

Wow, you make me sound so sinister...

young CM appears to be a compulsive reviewer (because he’s an expert of course)

Or maybe because I read, listen and watch a lot.

and has one short story published in a derivative short story anthology on Benny Summerfield

So what you're saying is that you haven't read it, so you're just going to insult it based on some sort of bias on your part.

Good to know.

no one has ever heard of or read except New Adventure fans living in their parents garage aged 30.

And now you're insulting a whole heap of people you know nothing about.

Fine behaviour there...


He pontificates pretty much exclusively it seems on his own sites

Usually because by the time I got to read/watch/listen to a story it long after the release/broadcast date, so most stories had been discussed to death by the time I got to contribute my 2 cents...

What he does have in common with me is that he has had a submission rejected by Big Finish.

I've had more than one rejection by Big Finish.

When he gets a Doctor Who story actually produced by an production company, I might be able take him seriously

By 'production company' what do you mean exactly?

Professionally licensed, a fan group creating their own stories,
or anyone with a computer and free audio editing software?


(and only at the level of derivative ‘fan fiction’

More insults against a whole group of people.

not in regard to original literature or academic discourse).

My Bernice Summerfield story is an orginal story, based on my own experiences in academia.

I might be able to do my own review/MS3TK of ‘Final Draft’ (probably aptly titled).

Good luck with that. Judging by the ammount of prejudical text I can already tell you'd probably miss the point of the story.

That’s if I could find a copy of it anywhere in Australia apart from his parent’s bookshelf.

You could order it from the Big Finish website, or take the ISBN into a book shop and see if they can order it in for you.

(all identified now on Facebook)

How much time have you wasted on this folly?

began to form into a pack before they realised they were outgunned

You weren't lying about having a superiority complex, were you...

attack anyone who challenges the viability of the new series of ‘Doctor Who’.

Considering that your forum is falsely claiming that Gary Russell quit Big Finish because he hated the New Series, I think anyone challenging such a falsehood is in the right.

Just in case you missed it the first time, Gary Russell was offered a job working on the New Series as a script editor. He has also worked as a script editor on Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures.

Cameron

Youth of Australia said...

After all that... after ALL that talk... he just banned you? That was IT?
Yep.

I went on and decided to post on every thread. No abuse, no criticism, just my opinion. Who's the best classic Doctor? I plumped for Sylv. A forum on classic drama? Anyone seen Trollope's The Pallisers? Countdown fetish? I remember that ghastly one with Rik Mayall and Ben Elton...

And then, without so much as a word (I was the only one on the forum at the time) the whole thing went banned.

"Try this shit in ma neighbahood, bwaii and see how we handle things in MY SIDE OF TOWN!!!"
"Okay. Hello. My name is Ewen and I am here at the behest of-"
*BLOCKED*
"Lalalala, we can't hear you! THIS IS THE SOUND OF OWNAGE!!!"

That would have been a more entertaining method, at least...

I mean, I guess he didn't know that you are well immune to the sting of a ban by this stage but... still. This is all the kind of behaviour I expect from pre-pubescent kids online trying to intimidate others.
Pre-pubescent?

Mallett seems to function on the level of "peek-a-boo freaks me out!!!"

I never thought I'd say this, but I think if anything you were too soft on Ron Mallet when you wrote those articles.
I was just criticing his stories.

Mind you, he is considered the epitome of crap by other reviewers on DWRG - indeed, it's not unheard of them to cry out "I don't want to sound like Ron Mallett but..."

Miles Reid said...

To be honest, he goes on about having a life, but screaming on and on about 'OH NOES, THEY PUT THE GAY IN MY DOCTOR WHO' really doesn't convince me of this.

I mean, I don't have a blog... well, not a blog I update and I've kinda cut back on bitching about stuff on forums, so does this mean I have a life? I always seem to be working, this must be so.

Matty Knoller said...

Snap. Snap. Snap.

Do you want my lawyer(s) to decide if any of this blog entry and the comments above constitute libel Jared?

Because you are over two decades younger than me and I actually do remember what its like to be your age, I'm going to give you a break and let you think it over.

Just don't think too long.

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

I don't need to think. Call your lawyers, show them the page and say "These twenty year olds are being mean to me" and look like more of an arse than you already do.

There are no false claims on a factual basis in my comments about who you are or what you do, in fact a minimum of any statements made about you yourself at all as opposed to what you have written. Furthermore libel generally applies to works for a wide audience, and not for replies to a slanderous, bubbling page full of hatred like the own you threw together.

The fact you are even suggesting it tells me that you either don't understand what libel is, or you are drunk right now and do not have any lawyers.

Also, the fact you earmarked me as the runt of this particular litter as you see us that you could intimidate further tells me that you are an appalling judge of character, in spite of your vast amounts of pontification on the subject matter.

Go hunt for old Countdown episodes or whatever it is you do.

Miles Reid said...

So... Doctor Who, that show we all like. Great show, huh?

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Lmao! Yeah, thanks for getting us back on track, Miles.

Warrior's Gate is my favourite story, Ronny, if you were wondering. What's yours?

Miles Reid said...

My favourite story? Probably 'Inferno' or maybe 'City of Death' in a frivalous mood. Gridlock's in there as well, or 'Vincent and the Doctor.'

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Oh, man, trust you to rock the boat by bringing new series into it! :P

Fires of Pompeii is the best post-2005 for me, but it doesn't make my top ten. Eleventh Hour is probably the next best..

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Latest rant not really worthy of a response, other than to say it's confusing to use 'pack mentality' in inverted commas - I referred to it only because Dr Mallet hasn't shut up about it and as far as I can see it hasn't been in play at all.

And for the sake of correction I don't have a HECs debt - I studied through TAFE, have earnt my diploma, paid off my studies I'm now working two part-time jobs in my chosen field.

Youth of Australia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miles Reid said...

To be fair, coccaine and hookers' tits, overrated. I work in hospitality, you learn these things. Now, Prostitutes and a low fat pro-biotic yogart.... WHOO MAMA.

Personally, I'm trying to write this TDWP story where the Doctor, his companions and a group of U.N.I.T soldiers investigate a long abandoned Soviet storehouse of alien artefacts and shit which fell behind the Iron Curtain and Russia since Tunguska, 1908.

Crazy man... he is not helping.

Youth of Australia said...

To be fair, coccaine and hookers' tits, overrated. I work in hospitality, you learn these things.
Yeah, well, I never got the hang of it - with my sinuses I ended up getting a sneezing fit and, yeah, you slip her an extra ten bucks but the moment is GONE, you know?

Now, Prostitutes and a low fat pro-biotic yogart.... WHOO MAMA.
That probably works better than the melted cheese. Which does burn, apparently.

Personally, I'm trying to write this TDWP story where the Doctor, his companions and a group of U.N.I.T soldiers investigate a long abandoned Soviet storehouse of alien artefacts and shit which fell behind the Iron Curtain and Russia since Tunguska, 1908.
TDWP? You're back with them? OK. Their new "Paul Darrow with PMT" Doctor's pretty interesting as characters go.

BTW, the link I had to their website don't work no more. Have they changed addresses or something?

Crazy man... he is not helping.
Quite.

Miles Reid said...

To be honest, I thought why not? I was never really proud of my last story with them. Plus, I need to hone my prose skills, audio scripting kinda deadens them after a while.

Youth of Australia said...

Oh, and just to state a FACT.

Out of everyone who has posted on this thread, I am the most feeble, cowardly, insecure and liable to back down at the first gate. I've a clinical history of depression, anxiety and nervous dissorders and, really, I don't like arguments.

Trying to intimidate Jared is the equivalent of a polio-riddled dwarf with no arms crawling into the path of the bastard offspring of Godzilla and Olag "Cat Strangler" Gan and feebly croaking, "Wanna dance, bitch?"

It's not just doomed.

Not just foolish.

Not just pathic.

It's really quite stupid.

Youth of Australia said...

To be honest, I thought why not? I was never really proud of my last story with them.
Yeah, looking back at it, the plot ended up overshadowed by the Doctor shouting at his companion for being a moron. Which was in a franchse that uses that scenario more than it does the TARDIS.

BTW, did you ever read their "bible"?

It was atrocious! I'm glad I didn't fork out money for it because, well, that has to be the least useful guidebook since How To Speak French was translated into French - and then into braille!

Miles Reid said...

I read one of their guide-books which described my story as 'intelligent' and 'thought-provoking', which only goes to prove that sometimes the artist and the audience are on totally different wavelengths.

To be honest, writing audio dialogue for David's Doctor is a lot easier, since

a) I can imagine his voice.
b) I just like giving him silly shit to say.

Youth of Australia said...

Yeah I get that. And more props to Ault - anyone can do "proper Doctor" dialogue, but to shift back and forth with other performances?

Looking back at it, I had amazing faith in the guy from day one.

Mr. Ault! I salute you!

(PPS - never accept any scripts by He Who Must Not Be Spoken To, you'll thank me in the long run)

Miles Reid said...

Why would I want to take scripts from Him? I have a fine collection of writers who want to pitch their wares to DP. Good, fun, intelligent stories which aren't a string of fanwank and continuity references.

Youth of Australia said...

...then why did you accept Caribbean Blue?

*ba-dum-tish!*

Kyron Mallet said...

For more details on Kyron Mallet, please visit:

http://maturityofaustralia.blogspot.com.au/

Kyron Mallet said...

For more details on Kyron Mallet, please visit:

http://maturityofaustralia.blogspot.com.au/

Youth of Australia said...

Tragic.

All vestiges of rational thought burnt away, leaving a mindless husk of a spambot.

Sort of like Midnight without the variety. (Or, for all you classic series fans, Victoria in episode six of The Abominable Snowmen).

Jared "No Nickname" Hansen said...

Yeah, I think they get the idea, Smurfy

Youth of Australia said...

I think I'll go onto facebook and discus this at length.